Lunette Reverie

New Blog, Same Ideas

2007-09-04T10:26:00.000+08:00

Once again I've made an entirely new blog. It's called Tempest Trodden hosted this time by WordPress.

I've lost heart in continuing this blog since I missed writing an entry for the August 2007 archives. I really wanted to have each month but I'm afraid that's impossible. But still this blog won't be deleted. It contains memories too precious to be forgotten.

One more thing. I sadly (but not regretfully) cancelled my account in Vox hence Sunset Epiphany is no more. I just found it much too geared for personal blogging. Plus its entries aren't worth keeping anyway. And just for some reason, I find it hard to write passionately there.

I'm thinking of starting an account in Multiply since Friendster is far too jologs-infested. Then again I don't know many people who have or even manage their accounts in Multiply. I know quite a few who abandoned their accounts since it seems too tedious to upload sound files and videos. After all if you want music, just go to MySpace. If you're looking for videos, YouTube has millions of them.

Might as well look for other social networking sites which are just as decent.

Two Years

2007-07-24T08:42:00.000+08:00

Happy 2nd Birthday, Lunette Reverie.

Although we're now vaguely connected, you'll forever be engraved a fragment of my past.

Globalization

2007-07-06T19:42:00.000+08:00

If you're going to ask me the most accurate definition of Globalization, the answer would have to be Princess Diana's death. Why?

An English princess

With her Egyptian boyfriend

Crashes in a French tunnel

In a German car

With a Dutch engine

Driven by a Belgian driver

Drunk on Scottish whiskey

While being chased by Italian paparazzi

On Japanese motorcycles

She was then treated by an American doctor

Using Brazilian medicine

This was written by a Pakistani

Forwarded to you by a Filipino

Using Bill Gates' technology

With a Korean monitor

Using Taiwanese chips

With a PC assembled by Chinese workers

In a Singaporean factory

And delivered by a Bangladeshi rickshaw

*The above post is taken from a forwarded email.

Yeah, yeah, just an excuse to keep this blog alive and entertaining, and also to finally add July 2007 to the archives.

Halfway

2007-06-07T16:17:00.001+08:00

I am born to a middle-class family.

I don't live in a mansion but I don't live in a shabby little hut either.
I live in a house my Pops designed and rents on a monthly basis.

We have a car but not a chauffeur.

I may not have feasts and eat like a king everyday but I never had to experience my family and myself going hungry.

I may not study in a prestigious exclusive school. However my Pops can afford to send me to a decent and acceptable university.

I prefer Nescafé over a cheap local brand of coffee but I find it impractical to spend a day's worth of allowance for a cup of Starbucks coffee.

I find it uncomfortable sleeping on a mat but I can go for years without an air-conditioner at home.

I don't have the money to buy designer tsinelas and branded outfits whose names take a mouthful to pronounce. On the other hand, I never find myself having to wear rags, hand-me-downs and sub-standard outfits.

I may not be what we call an anak-pawis but I'm definitely not a spoiled urban princess dependent on daddy's big fat bank account.

I have many privileges to be thankful for: A weekly allowance enough for food, transportation, likes and wants and fun and dates with my boyfriend. That aside, I have a nice cellphone, broadband Internet at home and occasional trips to restaurants.

I am born in a third-world country but there's food on the table, I live under a roof to shelter me from rain, I don't have to flip burgers at a fastfood joint to sustain my education, I am healthy and well-clothed.

But the most important thing is I'm happy and satisfied.

*I remember a character from The Zahir by Paulo Coelho. His name is Mikhail. Whenever he talks about himself, he speaks in the present tense. I simply followed his format for this blog entry.

Crabs Prohibited

2007-05-28T13:35:00.000+08:00

Once again taken from Sunset Epiphany.

Susmaryosep! Umaagos na naman ang utak-talangka ng mga tao! Some people just don't get it, huh?

Just a few pointers to those who have nothing productive to do but flame my Lunette Reverie.

1. Don't like my posts? Screw you. Don't bother to comment. Or better yet don't even bother to visit my blog. Why should the opinions of someone I don't know even matter to me at all?

2. I don't recall asking for your attention nor does my blog have any space for it. And absolutely NOBODY told, coerced, forced, recommended, dared, obliged, assigned, pleaded, begged, threatened, blackmailed, or even asked you to read my blog. So once again if you don't like the content, get out.

3. Since we live in democracy we all have the right to express our opinions hence the freedom of speech. I therefore express mine at the right place which is de facto MY blog. I can post whatever I want, whenever I want to and however I want it to be.

4. As pertaining to #3 I created this blog to express myself and NOT to please other people especially those critics I'm not even acquainted to. Whether I impress people or not is no longer my problem.

5. Lastly this blog is mine, me, myself and I. So if you don't like my posts, quotes, style, pictures, downloads, design, layout, template, favorites, features, blog name, letter font, neighborhood, et cetera, there's nothing you can do about it especially if you're an insecure attention-seeking crab whose self-esteem depends on putting other people down.

At isa pa. Kung ayaw mo sa sakin, puez ayaw ko rin sa 'yo.

But if you still insist on posting insignificant comments, go ahead. They'll just end up being disposed of anyway thus putting them, your time and your efforts into obscurity.

If people start talking shit about you, that means they're touched and it's a good sign. And we don't care what people say about us or our music. We don't give a fuck.
-Cristina Scabbia of Lacuna Coil

Русский Язык

2007-05-04T01:47:00.000+08:00

*Taken from Sunset Epiphany

Русский - pronounced "Russkiy", Russian for "Russian"

I know this idea is amazingly absurd but for someone living in a country which has no significant relations with Russia, I'm considering learning its language - Русский.

Ultimate Russian - Beginner-Intermediate

Living Language

I found the very same book on a shelf in [shop name censored] at [mall name censored too]. Now it was the ONLY copy there and I'm quite positive no one would bother to purchase it. After all who here in the Philippines (but me) is interested in learning a language that hardly anyone's familiar of and whose native speakers sound like rallyists itching for a revolution?

But just in case there are loose ends lying around, I hid the book behind another row to ensure absolutely no one would come across it. After all the teach-yourself books that are most often picked up are Chinese, Japanese, Korean and Arabic, normally by those who want to go abroad. I'm surprised they also have German, French, Spanish, Italian and even Brazilian Portuguese in stock. But most shocking of all is Russian!!

Now just in case you're wondering why I'm so interested in learning Russian to a point I'd change my name to Jiashka Deenova (Жыяшка Диновa), it's quite simple. I'm astounded by Russian culture and history from their матрёшка (Russian nesting dolls) to Space Exploration and World War II. Plus I also made the effort to learn to read and write Cyrillic (Russian alphabet).

Another (somehow irrelevant) inspiration is the once lesbian techno-pop duo t.A.T.u. comprised of Yulia Olegovna Volkova (Юлия Олеговна Волкова) and Elena Sergeevna Katina (Елена Сергеевна Катина). Another inspiration is of course that game for the PlayStation created by the genius Hideo Kojima, the Metal Gear series. The femme fatales who speak in a Russian accent are just so gorgeous!!

Then again the red and green lights are flashing simultaneously in learning Russian. First and foremost it's gonna be as hellacious as an exam in Chemistry since I have thousands of new words to memorize. Second, with no one to speak it to, being fluent will be like grabbing the stars. And what are the benefits of learning this mouthful language anyway?

Maybe I can list down some job opportunities:

1. An interpreter for the United Nations - Oohh! The pay is sure to be delicious! But since I'm dealing with the UN, I'll spend more time in the office and less time with my family hence leading to break-ups.

2. An interpreter for Russian immigrants in the United States - Hmm, not bad. I've always heard that interpreters are paid like lawyers without the bribery and corruption. Mom's boyfriend (who works for an airline company in Seattle) said that Russian speakers are high in demand. Then again I don't even have my own passport yet.

3. A translator for books - Yeah, right. I don't know even know any Russian novelists. And the classical literature of Russia has long been translated by professionals.

4. Migrate to Russia and find a job there - Culture shock, environment adjustments and application for permanent citizenship. No thank you.

So maybe the very reason why I want to learn Russian is for my own self-amusement and fulfillment. Nothing to benefit from it in other aspects. Oh well. Good thing I wrote about it in the first place.

And since I'm half-Chinese, I might as well prioritize this. After all I already have it! =)

Ultimate Chinese (Mandarin) - Beginner-Intermediate

Living Language

Hah! I've decided I'll just import some posts I find interesting from my new blog to this blog. Kinda like a mirror image.

Blessings

2007-04-22T19:03:00.000+08:00

Buong araw ng pag-agos
Kailan ang huling unos
'Di alam kung tatakbo
Kusang lalayo sa 'yo
-Up Dharma Down, Pag-agos

Hey, I did say I'd still post once in a while! Maybe at least once a month will do.

I just thought I'd share this text message I received here in my blog. It sure is an eye-opener. Of course I edited it slightly since you know how cramped up txt msging is.

Think.

If you have food, clothes and a home, you're richer than 75% of the world's population.

If you have some money in the bank, you're among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If you woke up healthy this morning, you're more blessed than the one million who won't be surviving this week.

If you have experienced peace and freedom, you're ahead of 500 million in the world.

If you can read this post you're more blessed than over two billion people who can't read at all.

Always thank God for what you have.

I've learned to overlook my burdens and count my blessings. In fact I have to be thankful that I'm alive.

Farewell

2007-04-12T22:07:00.000+08:00

It's time I say hello to the month of April with a farewell. I've finally decided to quit this blog. It's been a year and nne months.

I've discovered a new blog host. I've just created a profile and a blog and I find it more flexible and convenient. I'll make a new beginning there.

My new blog is now Sunset Epiphany hosted by Vox. The lovely things about he latter is it also has a focus on social networking, composing and editing are user-friendlier and they are affiliated with YouTube, PhotoBucket and Flickr. I also like the Vox Question of the Day in case you run out of things to write about.

This blog won't be deleted though. It'll stay the way it is. Maybe I'll even post once in a while.

And just a few more words...

Happy 12th Birthday to my little sister Pau. I wish we could've spent more time together. I might fly back to Palawan this summer.

Lunette Reverie, you have served me well. You will not be forgotten however. You shall live and continue serving your purpose as a glimpse to my past.

At the Beginning

2007-03-31T20:14:00.000+08:00

And life is a road that I wanna keep going
Love is a river, I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever, wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you
-Donna Lewis and Richard Marx, At the Beginning (Anastasia OST)

Happy Anniversary my Zhou Xun.

It was on March 11th. I chose to write about it on the last day of March anyhow. As to have this entry at the very top once I click on the March 2007 Archives. Same thing I did with my Guardian entry last September.

It's so hard to believe Zxun and I are together for a year now. How time really flies. I pray we really are meant for each other. Our theme song originally was Alipin by Shamrock. He let me listen to it just days after we came to be. The song was already a year old before it got exploited by the Chineserye Jewel in the Palace.

It was only last night when we decided on a new theme song. We both loved the song At the Beginning. The music so soothing, lyrics not too cheesy and wholly it's perfect for the both of us. A year has brought us back at the beginning.

Haha! Aren't we cute? I love you my Zhou Xun.

Forum Fantasy

2007-03-25T21:37:00.000+08:00

I've been spending a good amount of time hanging around in the Eyes on Final Fantasy forums. Blame it when I started to neglect this blog again. My username is Yliette. Check me out!

It's been quite a while since I considered a forum my cyberhome. The previous one was Ragnaboards. That was when I was still a mouse potato with Ragnarok Online. I made up to 2,000 posts and was even titled a Baphomet! But not long after that they changed the amount of required posts and I was back to a mere Doppelganger. Bummer. Oh well. Forum post number is not everything. I quit on it the same time I quit that confounded bot-infested game.

Then there was also the Lacuna Coil Fansite which I spent quite some time with. I discovered it when I was searching for Lacuna Coil's lyrics. Probably the only forums about a band I wasted a considerable time on. I permanently quit it after the band's latest album, Karmacode, was released. I also browsed the Official Nightwish Forums but didn't create an account.

Around four years ago I spent time with the first forum I considered a home. I forgot the name but it was also about Final Fantasy. Maybe I just grew out of it then.

Just recently I registered at a Harry Potter forums called Chamber of Secrets. It's hosted by a fansite called MuggleNet. I can't post yet since my account hasn't been verified yet. and I don't know whether I'll stay there for good or not. The threads are mainly about spoilers, possibilities and loose ends, all of which I've read in Wikipedia. If only I can cast a Vanishing Charm on that account...

But for now EoFF will be my cyberhome-sweet-home. The members are decent and only a few are immature. Plus they're friendly enough to provide tips and walkthroughs.

Lady Lips

2007-03-14T20:57:00.000+08:00

Which one I would give up? Lip gloss is not an option, so it's between wine and high heeled shoes. And depending on the day, I would give up either one. But I could not give up lip gloss. I would die. No, because there's no point in wearing high heel shoes without lip gloss, because your lips are dry. If you have wet lips, you can have bare feet, that's fine. If you have wine and dry lips, that's awful.
-Tori Amos when asked which she would give up: lip gloss, wine, or high heeled shoes. Taken from Wikiquote

A typical kikay brings an arsenal of make-up everyday and spends an average of an hour a day in the bathroom. I take merely less than five minutes and that includes "unloading" and checking on my reflection.

I can live without face powder, lipstick, blush-on, foundation, eyeliner, eyelash curler and whatever kikay tool or jargon I can think of. I'll be facially alright just by having only two womanly necessities: a hairbrush and lip gloss.

Like Tori, I practically CAN'T live without that fruity-flavored colorless oily stick. First, I'm easily prone to dry lips since it runs in the family. Second, I can't stand dry lips! It somewhat vexes me to feel lumps on my upper lip and swollen wounds on my lower lip. Third, dry lips are an extreme pain when eating anything spicy. Without lip gloss, eating Yellow Cab pizza peppered with chilli flakes and oil is a step below acne surgery. Same goes with that tantalizing chilli sauce from the Walls of Intramuros. It inflamed my lips. I resembled a talk show host on drugs.

Ultimately I find men who habitually put lip gloss on fascinating. I personally don't find it gay. Au contraire it shows that these men are actually conscious of their physical health and appearances. Although Carlo does not put it on, I still love him with or without lip gloss.

I can go on with only occasional lip gloss. But right now my slighty wounded lips are slightly bugging me.

Resided Evil 4

2007-03-07T20:28:00.000+08:00

Two weeks 'til the Final Exams and another bloody school year ends. Graduation is getting nearer and nearer everyday!

Girly, a classmate from PE, suggested a local band called Sugar Hiccup so I bought a (pirated) CD. Turns out I don't find them appealing to my musical tastes at all. Sounds to me more like an operatic Barbie Almalbis meets Orange and Lemons. All their songs could easily cure insomnia. Well maybe with the exceptions of Bleed and Una Parola. The only two songs I found melodious. For now Rammstein will do just fine! Bin wunderbar!

So we've finally beaten Resident Evil 4 in Normal mode! Despite that it took us almost 24 hours to beat the game (which is LONG for an RE game), it was well worth the hard work. We unlocked various side-missions such as Assignment Ada, Separate Ways, The Mercanaries, a movie viewer where you can watch the cutscenes, and of course the Professional mode which makes killing Los Ganados en Normal mode as easy as squishing ants. Oh yes! We also get to play Clear Game wherein you start in Normal mode but with ALL the weapons and upgrades you had in the previous game.

Gah! I don't know what to start! Ada Wong's such a babe and just playing as her is more than the luxury! I'm falling for that bitch in the red dress (as antagonist Jack Krauser refers to her). For now I'm blasting off with Clear Game. Might as well worry about the other side-games!

I got nothing to do at YouTube. Thanks to my slight obsession with Resident Evil 4, I watched cutscenes of Resident Evil Remake (practically a remake of the very first Resident Evil for the PSOne) and the game has drastically improved in terms of graphics and gameplay! The characters no longer look like bulky renders of Lego blocks. Just watching the scenes tempts me to buy a Nintendo GameCube. I didn't get to play the very first after all. Like almost everyone else I started with Resident Evil 2.

I still find it funny that Resident Evil is called Biohazard in Japan.

Nutshell

2007-02-28T18:26:00.000+08:00

A summary of my happenings and interests at the moment.

I finally bought another book by Paulo Coelho; The Pilgrimage. I've heard of this well-known Brazilian novelist but only had the nerve to buy and read his books last November. I used to read a lot of books then but since I prioritized my gaming life, I left them eating dust on the shelf.

Every time I mentioned Coelho to classmates, The Alchemist is automatically the first thing that comes to their minds. After all his biographies state it's his most beloved book. That probably is the first (and only) book read by people. Despite that, the first book by Coelho I've actually read is By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept. I bought it together with The Alchemist. I also have (and read in chronological order) Eleven Minutes, Veronika Decides to Die, The Valkyries and The Zahir. Currently halfway through The Pilgrimage. I also bought The Fifth Mountain but never read it since I gave it to my sister for Christmas. I have only The Devil and Miss Prym left to complete my humble Coelho set. And I wouldn't bother purchasing Warrior of Light: A Manual and Like the Flowing River. No main plot.

And speaking of my reading list, I've read The Supernaturalist by Eoin Colfer. In my opinion better than the Artemis Fowl series. That book bored me with every page.

After the games mentioned in PlayStation Awaken, I'm currently alternating between Final Fantasy XII and Resident Evil 4. At least I have my gaming life in good order and balance. By the way I've enlisted the aid of Doctor Paranoia with the latter. So it's basically team effort. We're now at the Island sniping off freakish Regenerators and Iron Maidens. RE4 is the first RE without the traditional zombies. But that's what makes it more fun (and dangerous)!

The last day of February. Hmm, this afternoon with nothing to do, I watched Wowowee with Abuela. The contestants were those born under February 29. How would I feel having to celebrate my "real" birthday merely every four years? I don't know anyone born under a leap year. Only fictional character I know born under that is Precis Neuman from Star Ocean: The Second Story, an RPG for the Sony PlayStation. She's sixteen but acts far more childish. Maybe because her birthday is only every four years.

And I've just finished watching Legally Blonde on DVD. Although I don't really have an interest for chick flicks, I actually enjoyed and and felt good afterwards! Well, it's also categorized as a feel-good film. It again taught me that we should never discriminate. In the movie, Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) was doubted in being a Harvard Law Student because she's blonde. In the end she won in court defending a murder convict and graduated top of her class.

I'm no hyprocrite I'll admit I discriminate too. But I'm also admitting that I'm trying to change that. I used to have a stern hatred for blondes and preps. Now I chose to demote hatred into mere dislike. After all, indifference is the true opposite of love. If ever I met up with a blonde, some dislike and discrimination might exist but I'll still try to be her friend.

It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people.
-Pamela Anderson

So I guess that's that.

Хуй Войнэ

2007-02-16T20:37:00.000+08:00

Хуй Войнэ
-Russian, pronounced "Kui Voinë" meaning "Fuck War" found on shirts worn by t.A.T.u.

There hardly was a time when the world was at peace. Notable wars I can remember are the Hundred Years War between France and England, the Vietnam War and of course the World Wars I and II.

Other than that, there was never a time when people were satisfied with what nature has to offer. Oftentimes they want more than they have, not stopping until they've consumed the entire world's bank accounts. I've observed that the upper class, also known as Los Conyos, are no happier than the middle and lower classes. Los Conyos appear in parties and feign happiness and dignity when they're actually depressed inside, worrying about how to overload their bank accounts. Such is the hypocrisy.

Even the United States of America, the world's richest and most powerful country, is still at war with Iraq. Although it's quite uncannonized, Bush is after the Middle East for its oil reservoirs. Oil rakes in the money and money makes the world go round these days. Not only does it talk the loudest, it swears. Oh well. I've been told by a professor that the US is starting to fall apart and they currently have the largest national debt from the World Bank. So much for living the American Dream. I'm living the New Zealander Dream anyway. XD

Even in the micro-level of society, we wage war against each other. Just as Shorty mentioned in her blog;

Respect is given to when respect is due.

Ghetto vs. Goth vs. Conyo vs. Punk... What the?! Can't you just give respect to each other? It doesn't matter what genre you belong to. We're all human, we're all the same. So would you just f*cking drop that genre fight thingy and just do what you love to do.

Yeah. I'm no hypocrite. I admit I was once a Hitler impersonator blowing people's heads off saying which are the best and the worst. But the important thing is I've finally changed to a semi-humanitarian good girl and learned to appreciate all sorts of genres. It's quite simple. If I don't like it, just leave it alone and find something else that interests me. It's fruitless to spend months organizing an Anti-Cuéshe Club. At least now I've become even more open-minded.

Rocker/Poser Business

Speaking of genres, I suddenly remembered that hooligan who flooded my chatbox all because of a small finger-slip of a song title by Chicosci. He spent precious time calling me a poser, which made me think. What's with this Rocker/Poser thing anyway? Who made the rules on how to be a rocker anyway?

I've met many rockers alike. From the listeners to the band members, from the underground-dwellers to ones who appreciate mainstream as well. I've noticed: A band may be certified rockers to one yet a poser to another and vice versa. So generally, the term "poser" merely depends on any individuals standards. Yet many of them act as if their own standards are the Golden Rules of appreciating rock.

Doctor Paranoia explained that calling someone a poser is like dripping blood in a pool of sharks. It's one way to get attention. He also taught me in the first place that one has absolutely no right to judge another for he should not expect him to adjust to his standards.

So now I've decided to drop this whole Rocker/Poser business. I'm not calling myself a rocker, metalhead, goth, skater punk, emo kid or whatever sub-genre there is under rock. I don't care whether I adjust to your standards of rock or not nor do you label me a poser. As long as I listen to this band, that's that. End of story.

Labels are things you put on jars, not on people.
-Quoted by my dear cousin Doctor Paranoia

And these "rakistas" who dwell too much on posers, well, they're just torturing themselves. Oh well. Some people seem to have more than enough time in their hands.

Yuna ユウナ

2007-02-11T22:19:00.000+08:00

Just sharing! ^^

Which Final Fantasy Character Are You?

I loathed Yuna when I played FFX. Her lousy voice-acting making her sound like an automatic machine and her goody-two-shoes personality were what made me find her loathsome.

Then I played FFX-2 and was shocked to see Yuna wielding dual pistols and being a Lara Croft impersonator. That overpowered the whole goody-two-shoes thing.

I loathed her MORE in X-2. And in doing so, that's when I started to appreciate her in X. Amazing how things constantly change.

And Happy 11th Monthsary to me and my Zhou Xun! Wow! Our last monthsary before our anniversary. I can't believe we're lasting for almost a year! How time flies.

I love you my Zhou Xun.

And this is how much I love him...

PlayStation Awaken!

2007-02-02T19:38:00.000+08:00

Time to tie myself up to my best friend the PlayStation 2 along with these delicious, breathtaking and astounding games!

From left to right:
Final Fantasy XII by Square-Enix
Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater by Konami/Kojima Productions
Shadow of the Colossus by Sony Computer Entertainment
Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness by Core Design
Resident Evil 4 by Capcom
Valkyrie Profile 2: Silmeria by Square-Enix

SMS Globe

2007-02-02T18:16:00.000+08:00

I guess I'm not set on quitting yet! I've realized that I blog all along as an alternate way to express myself and ultimately for my own self-amusement.

How time flies. Next week is the dreaded midterms week. And just a few weeks after that we'll be welcomed with open arms by the final exams thus ending another school year.

Oh. And Globe's unlimited service is now officially fucked up. They changed the rates without warning at:
P20/1 day
P40/2 days
P80/ 4 days

A big change from the usual P50 for five days. I've been receiving many text messages lately saying that we should join hands and boycott Globe. Well I could send a message or two but not that many as to clean up my account balance. And without unlimited, at least I can get used to texting with normal rates and no longer be confined by network barriers.

"Globe ka ba? Naka-unli ka? Pa-text naman!"

After all I have many friends who are users Smart and Sun. Might as well give a polite bow to my fellow Globe users and give a quick hello to those I hardly text.

And one more thing. Some sicko said I'm not eligible to listen to Chicosci. Pssh. Who are they to judge who should and should not listen to certain music? I wonder what he's been smoking lately or what drug he's under the influence of?

But then again, Kuya Wine the Wise taught me that every society has its own sets of unlikeables.

Quit or Not

2007-01-17T12:59:00.000+08:00

More than two weeks and still nothing. Not that I'm too busy to update. That's not the reason. I'm just not having the diligence. After all it's not my idea to become a mouse potato. The only time I became a full-time mouse potato is during my Ragnaddiction days. I'm glad that part of my life is over.

Truth is I'm thinking of quitting this blog. Not that hardly anyone reads it. I just find it pointless to keep on writing with limits. This is a weblog in the first place. You can't just post highly personal, embarassing and secretive moments for strangers to read. I've once read in Seventeen magazine that it's possible for you to be fired just by having finger-slips in your blog. A friend of mine back at the Lyceum Debate Society was put on the hot seat when she vented her feelings out on her blog. The contents were later printed out by a member.

In other words, tinatamad nako. Or I don't feel like it anymore in English.

Most of all I need to go back writing in a corporeal journal. It's much better and relieving that way. I remember back in my High school days when I'd not pay attention in Trogonometry and just write in my journal. I was still the troublemaker then!

I'm still not set on quitting. Just thinking about it. It's like back in pRO when I'd promise myself a thousand times that I'll quit and only did so a year and a half later.

All desperate plans are dropped
And I'm left with an empty hand
Soon I'll breathe new air
But not without these tired lungs
So now I'm without you
-Chicosci, Conversation with Theme of Fire

P.S. After a few times of reading my previous posts, I just realized I'm a fat-fingered typist. Too many typos.

Dysmenorrhea

2007-01-05T19:24:00.000+08:00

An obnoxious topic for my first post for the year 2007. But it’s the only topic I feel like writing about.

The monthly evil that plagues every woman on Planet Earth. Unfair world. Women suffer more than men do. We get pregnant, we have more private parts and worst of all, we have menstruation which eventually leads to the hellacious dysmenorrhea.

Based on Christina Aguilera’s song Can’t Hold Us Down, why is it that if a man has three girls and sexes them off, he’s a man. But if a girl does it, she’s a whore.

I don’t understand why it’s okay
The guy gets the glory and the girl gets named
-Christina Aguilera, Can't Hold Us Down

Off topic but that’s just one of the reasons I despise being a being born with a vagina. Too bad women can’t become eunuchs like men can. After all, I can’t just have my melons chopped off and have an artificially-made manhood attached to my private.

So anyway, I just had my period today and dysmenorrhea took its toll. I normally have painful yet tolerable cramps on my day one but this was just far too much. I couldn’t walk, I was emitting cold sweat, my legs shook with every step, my breathing hardened, had vomiting sensations, my face became paler and had unbearable pain on my abdomen.

I’m glad I was still able to go back home and not attend classes. I’ll just write a creative excuse letter to my professors. After all they should consider dysmenorrhea. It happens naturally.

Flip Flopped

2006-12-30T20:51:00.000+08:00

I'd rather not buy Havaianas. Too expensive for a pair of rubber chinelas.
-Kuya Wine

That's what I remind myself whenever I'm tempted to buy a pair of Havaianas. Insanely expensive rubber flip flops made in Brazil.

Not a long time ago I wanted to buy a pair of tsinelas. I'd rather say that since "flip flops" sound like a term for the fashionistas. I've been trying to set aside Havaianas for a while but they remain to be the ONLY choice for me. I was looking for a comfortable pair of footwear until I found Banana Peel. It seemed to be a local brand since its prices are around Php 60 to Php 200. I bought a pair for myself and my sister and we seemed to like it. That is I discovered it was fade-able.

Then Ate Glen's birthday came and I gave her a pair for Php 60. It seemed to be a bargain! She said they were comfortable, durable and they took a long time to fade! Better that than Havaianas, Roxy, Reef, Crocs or those pricey tsinelas for the conyos. And Carlo taught me to be practical. He also wondered why many people want to spend to up to Php 1,000 for a pair of designer tsinelas.

Well, Tita Cherry has a wedged pair of Havaianas and they were lovely! Sadly it was a hard-to-find product. And I might eventually grow tired of it if I did own a pair.

Now I understand why Havaianas is a hot thing among the coños. Flip flops are a trend in the USA. Amazing how they once laughed at the Asian funny footwear and now it's a fashion statement. Of course our local coños would rather follow the American trends hence Havaianas became a hit. it's overrated here in RP. A friend said that's it's affordable in the US.

Yay. Coños being duped into buying overpriced rubber tsinelas thinking that it's actually a fashion statement.

I've learned to care less for printed soles since they cannot be seen anyway when worn and will eventually fade.

And I wonder why the word "coño" became associated with the rich people when it actually means "cunt" in Spanish.

Death Anniversary

2006-12-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

It's been exactly a year since our late Papa Tony passed away, making to day his first death anniversary. There was a dinner and a gathering here. Only a few of my cousins came. Raph came as usual. Ray-an and Triza were here too. We spent the whole night just talking. Metal Gear Snake Eater, FPS Doug and ROFLMAO Productions, Newgrounds parodies and the time Ray-an and I were toiling away on Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness two summers ago.

Ultimately we talked about how we felt and reacted the moment we heard that our dear grandfather finally went. Ray-an was playing Need For Speed when he heard the news. He immediately turned the PS2 off, locked himself into his room and thought deeply. Raph was drowsy one early morning and was shocked when Tita Cherry told it. I heard it past midnight, just a few minutes after his passing. I woke my sister up and we cried together.

It's quite hard to believe that Patony's been gone for a year now. How time flies. If Patony was still alive then Christmas would have been ten times more enjoyable.

Wise military man said that we should not mourn over the deaths on great men. In fact we should rejoice that such men lived.

Yeah. I should be thankful that Patony lived in the first place. I should be thankful that I got to experience growing up with a complete set of grandparents.

We'll see him soon.

These precious things
Let them bleed
Let them wash away
These precious things
Let them break
Their hold over me
-Tori Amos, Precious Things

Ego-Surfing

2006-12-14T09:38:00.000+08:00

JIEA stands for:
Japan Ireland Economic Association
Jaipur Industrial Estate Association
It's also a search engine known as jiea.com

I was waiting for my cousin to go online since we'll be talking about our trip to De La Salle University - Dasmariñas through YM.

While finding ways to kill time e.g. checking my Friendster account (nothing new), searching Wikipedia for anything interesting (Cartoon Network, Lyceum, UE), and had an idea. I went ego-surfing.

First I tried Wikipedia but no articles led to "Jiea". So why not try Google? And above are the results returned by "Jiea." The whole time I didn't know I was named after an international association. This Jaipur thing even has its own seal with the inscription JIEA on it. Wow! I feel like a VIP.

I guess it pays to be named the same as almost no one. Yeah, there are also many people named Jiea but with a different spelling. Gia, Jia, even Ghia and Jhia! I don't understand why many pinoys love to put the letters H and Z in their nicknames. They think it makes their names cool when it's just one way to join the bandwagon of names.

Йя Eнныфэр Ди
-Russian equivalent of my name. I transliterated it myself. I learned the Russian (Cyrillic) alphabet through self-teaching. Inspired by the game Metal Gear 3: Snake Eater.

I know only onoe word in Russian and that's Йэп (pronounced "yep") which means "sex". XD

Drugged

2006-12-12T17:19:00.000+08:00

I wonder what my body would sound like
Slamming against those rocks
And when it lands
Will my eyes be closed or open?
-Björk, Hyper Ballad

Centrum reeks. I've been taking it once a day for more than a week now and I feel no healthier. In fact I've been feeling drowsy and unenergetic instead of being "complete" just as its advertisements suggested. I do feel complete. Completely drained.

Due to minor problems at school and lack of sleep by talking to my Zhou Xun over the phone past midnight, I've been suffering from headaches, some slight and some a real pain, but thankfully no cases of migraine yet. In fact I don't think I've ever experienced migraine in my entire life. And I hope I never will.

During those headaching times, I resorted to over-the-counter painkillers such as Biogesic and Advil. They both worked but took quite a while to take effect. And that would be one of the few times I'll take safe drugs. I don't want to live a life being drug-dependent. After all, no matter how safe and legal they are, they're still drugs. I personally believe they can still be associated with drug addiction and drug overdose.

Raph recommended water therapy instead. Whenever his mom would have a headache, she'd resort to no drugs. She'd just drink a warm glass of water and everything else follows. He-ey! They say the natural way is always the best way!

Starting tomorrow I'll take Enervon-C, also a brand of multivitamins. If Centrum doesn't work for me then I'll try that. Besides, it's only half of Centrum's price! Centrum is Php 9.50 while Enervon is Php 4.50. And if Enervon doesn't work, I'll go for Stresstabs.

For the first time here in Lunette Reverie, I'm talking about drugs.

Cherry Tree

2006-12-06T19:05:00.000+08:00

I won't fall in love anymore
I swear this will be my last heartbreak
Even if a cherry tree is shaken by the wind
The flowers on it will still bloom

To fall in love with you is to sacrifice everything
My wish is that this be the last heartbreak
Even if a cherry tree is shaken through time
The flowers on it will still bloom
-Utada Hikaru, Sakura Drops

But I did fall in love again. And I've done so after recovering from my first and final heartbreak. I was listening to Sakura Drops by Utada Hikaru (now Iwashita Hikaru). It's been almost four long years since I bought her third album Deep River. I learned of her from Kingdom Hearts and she's my favorite Japanese individual. She's musically talented. She sings, she dances, she writes lyrics, she composes. And most of all she's bilingual; fluent in both Japanese and English.

Enough about Hikki. I remember reading Arice's blog and she said that the true opposite of love is not hate but indifference. For a long time I never believed it until now. I was so immature then that I believed that hate is the most powerful way of having someone be gone from your life. How wrong I was.

One day Raph and I were talking about rivalry and hate. He explained to me that having a rival can serve as a positivity since you have a measuring stick of your skills and he can be your source of drive. But there are more negativities in having a rival. First of all if he triumphs, it's a hellacious blow to you. You have to know what he's up to and how he's improving. Yet there's one more thing that's much worse. He has meaning to your life.

It was a shock. Then I had an epiphany after listening to Saydie. Their songs revolve mostly around hate. That only means that the people they hate have meaning to their lives. If you hate a person, why even write and sing a song for him? Why waste time and a sense of art in expressing hate? He greatly angers you by the mere mention of his name. He truly has meaning to your life.

Then I've learned not to hate. Yoda once said that we must unlearn what we have learned. We must unlearn to hate. I'm glad I've finally unlearned to hate my ex-boyfriend. This signifies that I'm now indifferent to him and he no longer has meaning to my life.

I'm also beginning to unhate those on my deathlist. Aeris Gainsborough, Britney Spears, Hillary Duff, Hale, Cueshe, everything.

And for those who have hated me, I would like to say thank you to all of you. Thank you for letting me have meaning to your lives. You don't know I've realized how touched I am.

Arice also told me that the best remedy for love is love. It did say the "best" and not the "only" rememdy. When my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, it was devastating. Then a week later I've reached full recovery thanks to my friends. I recovered without seeking the remedy called "Love".

Then my Zhou Xun and I met. Contrary to Utada's song, I did fall in love again. And this time I'm much happier than before. The way she expressed it is so poetic and beautiful.

Even if a cherry tree is shaken by the wind
The flowers on it will still bloom

I love you my Zhou Xun.

You Are An Invisible Ex

You're so over your ex, you hardly even remember you have an ex
You prefer leave all of the baggage behind you - far, far behind
As they say, indifference is the opposite of love!

What Type of Ex Are You?

Pen and Ink Twin

2006-12-05T17:34:00.000+08:00

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and not clothed.
-Dwight D. Eisenhower

That's what's in front of the spiral notebook more than a month ago to serve as my journal. I still haven't thought of a name for it though. Maybe I'll just call it Dwight! I've been spending much devoted time writing in it very personal issues which are too crucial to be published in this blog. Almost neglected Lunette Reverie. On the other hand this blog led me to neglect my thick journal I kept for almost three years. I had to abandon it since it's full of horrible memories of 4th High School and my ex-boyfriend, both I want to forget.

Time to crack the bad news: I wasn't accepted to become a part of the McDonald's crew. It was devastating at first but I'm glad I quickly recovered. Haha! I forgot to behold the power of positivism. I've read,

I've learned that getting fired may be the best thing that can happen to me.
-Live and Learn and Pass It On

There are much more good things. First of all, I don't have work to bind me into responsibility and pressure. And since it's Christmas, I can fly back home to Puerto Princesa and spend quality time with my father and two other sisters. Plus I can fully enjoy the pleasure of Christmas and be free from the headaches wiping tables and punching in orders for customers. I'd rather spend my Christmas home than behind a counter. And 'sides, a part-time job worth around Php 4,000 monthly cannot buy happiness and time with my family whom I've been away from for half a year.

Other news: Sir Generoso Aquino, a faculty member of the Lyceum of the Philippines University, has recently passed away. Sad. He never became my professor in any of my social sciences sucject but he was a very nice man. Once he kindly advised me to sip my coffee first to keep it from spilling. I guess Nightwish is right about one of their songs...

Why am I loved only when I'm gone?
Think of me long enough to make a memory
-Nightwish, Bless The Child

That's how I felt too when Papa Tony passed away almost a year ago... Just a few weeks from now until his first death anniversary. How time flies.

I guess that's all for now. I'm just in a netcafe. Better make most of my time by doing "other" things. =D

On-the-Job Evaluation

2006-11-22T20:40:00.000+08:00

Just this late afternoon at 5pm, I had my On-the-Job Evaluation (OJE) at McDonald's Las Piñas. It was pretty challenging and exciting. We were all to wait at the conference hall along with my fellow OJE'ers and wait for further instructions. Surprisingly, all of us were calm and collected.

We were divided into two groups. Ours was first assigned to the lobby for the first hour then assistance to the counter the next hour. Before all that, all of us were led to the employee's area. Funny though. We were treated like tourists but of course the manager Ma'am Lanie may be friendly but she still had the air of authority.

Now that fed my childhood curiosity. Although I've developed a slight idea of what the food area might look like according to my visits to McDonald's, it felt like I was a kid exploring a planetarium. So that's how chicken nuggets were made and cooked.

Meticulous! Even washing hands had a proper procedure to follow! We even had to memorize the name of the handwash. Well, it was called Anti-Microbial Handwash or AMH. Ma'am Lanie told us for it might appear in the written exam afterwards. We were shown the wash area, proper cleaning equipment and the closet where the sanitizer, brooms and mops were stored. All was taught and we were ready as ever!

Being the excited trainee, I volunteered to wear the belt bag holding the color-coded rags, yellow for trays and tables and blue for chairs and other things that have no physical contact with food. Finally, Ma'am Lanie exclaimed, "You're off! Find some things to do and keep yourselves busy. You will all be evaluated by your performances."

So off I was! Since I was assigned at the lobby, my assignment was to sweep floors, clean away leftovers, wipe tables, and greet customers with the overused lines, "Good evening Ma'am/Sir! Welcome to McDonald's!" then eventually bid them goodbye with "Thank you Ma'am/Sir! Come again!" Honestly, it was tiring but fun!

Then it was time for round two of the OJE. Our group was assigned to assist those attending the counter. We were assigned merely to serving drinks and no other food. Ma'am Lanie said we still lacked experience and training to do so (It's alright really. I wasn't offended.). It was pretty simple. We were first taught the different cup sizes and their uses, the right amount of ice to be out and the right size for lemonade, iced tea, orange juice and Happy Meals.

That position felt awkward though. We just had to stand beside the ones we were assisting and we were somehow in the way of other employees. Sure, we sometimes got bumped and even pushed aside but it made no big deal. It was the OJE. I can't let my emotions get in the way.

At long last, we were all called back to the conference room. We were given another written exam about how much we learned from the OJE. We all finished and passed papers. We received an allowance of a Burger McDo and a small Coke each. It was very satisfying. And Ma'am Lanie was very nice and approachable. We were to be updated before Sunday this week. I'm feeling quite anxious.

I went home. Mom was happy about my having a part-time job. In fact she seemed more excited than I was.

And on a final note, I'm glad I cancelled my plan to work for a call center. McDonald's is more practical and convenient. They prioritize working students and they even adjust to your shcedule. Plus the management is worker-friendly. They say a full time call center work alone is enough to deprive you of your health. What more if added the burden of school work? I knew some schoolmates who are already half-dead from school and call center labor.

It'll be fine. I know I'll make it. ^^x

Employed!!

2006-11-19T17:29:00.000+08:00

At least STARTING to be employed. =)

Just this morning, McDonald's Las Piñas called me up and informed me that I'm scheduled for an examination tomorrow morning at 10am. Surprising since I was expecting an initial interview. I'm not that worried. If even high school students can pass it then undoubtedly, so can I.

At last... Earning my own dough. For now, it doesn't matter if the salary is merely P35 an hour. What I'm after is work experience and just enough cash to contribute to my tuition fees. It's finally time I give my Pops a hand.

And I wouldn't want to imagine if I do get employed in a call center. That'd be less time for my Zhou Xun. Hell, I might even end up losing him completely. A friend of mine broke his back on both school and call center work. It's impressive that he works to buttress his own tuition fees yet in the process he lost his girlfriend whom he was with for three years. I wouldn't want that...

Went on a hiatus with FFX International. Level grinding and playing all-day Blitzball can be boring. Just toiled away with Resident Evil Code: Veronica X even though Raph and I have finished it twice for the past three years. And until now I still haven't a copy of Resident Evil 4.

I can't wait to begin playing FFXII.

Back to topic. Truth is I'm having mixed feelings about work. I'm feeling both nervous and excited. This will be my first ever job experience. I'll be fine! No need to worry. And the best incentive there is is I'll have something valuable to brag about in my résumé. I've read in Reader's Digest that work experience is far MORE highly valued than education, but the latter of course also has to be a given.

Somehow, I still have enough chakra to contain my excitement.

Outer space is where we get together
In this place we're meant to be
Stars are dancing and the time is fading
Die forever you and me, you and me

Passing stars and counting moons of planets
In the cosmos we are free
There's no atmosphere and no obsessions
It'll always be, it'll always be
-t.A.T.u., Cosmos (Outer Space)

You May Be a Bit Borderline...

Your mood swings make a roller coaster look tame!
When you're up, you're a little bit crazy...
And when you're down, your whole world is crashing
Scary thing is, these moods can change by the minute!

What Personality Disorder Are You?

Back to School. Damn...

2006-11-09T20:26:00.000+08:00

I just don't know why everything has to go away
I just don't know why everything has to fade away
I cannot escape
There's nothing more I can do
I just don't know why I need you
-Lacuna Coil, What I See

ENGL13A Speech Communication
MCMN11A Theories of Communication
PRLL20A Principles of Public Relations
BSJN50A Introduction to Journalism
PSYN10A General Psychology
PESN04A Team Sports/Games

Those are my subjects for this semester. For the first time, I'm underloading subjects. I guess Shorty and I aren't alone. She's taking up Tariff and Customs Administration. I wonder how she's doing. Girl doesn't have much love for Math, not that I'm actually expecting her course is loaded with MATH!!

I was in school attending my only class of the day which is General Psychology. There were only a few of us, probably because most of our classmates usually never come on the first day of the semester. The prof was quite interesting.

I walked around the lobbies, hoping to bump into a friend or at least someone I know. Although I met a few acquiantances, I never got to trip unto Shorty or Kisuke. The sadder news is my other good friend Kenji the wise, that big half-Japanese guy was said to not have enrolled again this semester. I never saw hime the whole last sem and I was heavily hoping we'd get to talk again and have a few Japanese lessons. Turns out his younger sister Rika couldn't have enrolled too... What of LAAG?

I've made a vow. I'll strive to have a grade of above 2.00 in at least one subject. The last subject I had a grade of above 2.00 is PE1. Anyway, I'm finished with most of the useless subjects, all my Filipino subjects and Chemistry most of all. I can survive better in Statistics and Economics, just don't let me have that useless subjects again.

And Karmacode by Lacuna Coil is very enchanting. It can put me to sleep despite being a metal band.

Spiral

2006-11-08T20:11:00.000+08:00

The much-awaited semestral break is finally over, and classes start tomorrow.

And I've decided to cancel that call center thing. I've consulted many friends who are experienced in call center work and they say that it'll consume much of time definitely. I don't want that. I don't want to risk losing time for my boyfriend, my PS2 and myself.

Maybe I'll go work for McDonald's? Who cares if the pay is low? As long as I get to work! 'Sides, they adjust to my schedule and I have free lunch! ^^x

Trick or Tricky

2006-11-01T20:23:00.000+08:00

Happy Halloween! At least that was for yesterday.

The Trick or Treating occured during the sun was still up though. Corny.

I don't really want to complain about it but most of the kids who were trick or treating for sweets and goodies were all outsiders from Philam, most of them not even wearing costumes. It's not surprising. Those poor blokes just take advantage of any freebie available. That's why I once mentioned here in my blog (I can't remember which post) why I want all those below the poverty line obliterated.

Anyway, might as well look on the bright side! We all dressed up in typical Halloween costumes. Pauline being a witch for a masquerade party, Eliza an angel (although she really isn't one), Jenna a butterfly princess and of course Moi being a nefarious and bodacious witch! And there's a difference between an evil witch and a masquerade witch. No need to substantiate that! ^^

*I'll post the photos some other time*

I didn't bring my own goodie bag. My job then was too accompany and secure the kids as well as be their big assistant in holding their goodie bags and fixing up their wings. Jenna's butterfly wings were a pain and kept on hitting me back in the car! I was also the wiper of hands and chins from taho and ice cream. Trendy. Even the caretaker is in a lavish costume...

Funny though. All the kids were staring at me as we rode from house to house to gain freebies. Oh well. Most of the trick or treaters are kids, some of them accompanied by adults who were wearing little costumues and accessories or none at all. Since I was one of the few grown-ups wearing a very conspicuous costume (I saw a duo wearing Men in Black tuxedos), all the other kids were all staring, nudging their friends saying "Uy! Witch o!". Some were not taught good manners and were even pointing.

My cousin Raph later arrived! He was dressed in an urban camo outfit complete with face paint of poster paint and a replica of a Glock and an MP5! We took pictures alter at the park with well-planned posts. We decided on the forest setting, which was wrong since he was wearing urban camo.

Quite a happy halloween though as much as I hate to admit, I never enjoyed it like a kid will. That's what I hate about being an adult. It takes much MORE to be pleased...

Ice Cream For My Soul

2006-10-30T21:15:00.000+08:00

Q: Why is it so hard to say you're wrong?

A: Because it often involves saying "I'm sorry" which is even harder. Throughout history, people have found it easier to stop speaking to one another, punch, slander, shoot and bomb rather than apologize.
-Reader's Digest, May 2006

Now this may be reminiscent to the book Chicken Soup For The Soul. On my case, ice cream works better than chicken soup, although I love chicken soup.

As much as I hate to admit, I am one of those people who find it easier to result to less amicable resorts than apologize. At least I'm limited only to stop speaking to the other party. Well, I used to punch (my sister especially), yell and throw things and tantrums yet as I grew up, so did I mature and learn the art and value of anger management. Speaking of the latter, I suddenly remember my explosive uncle back in Midtown. It's because of his volatile temper that I'm living here in Las Piñas now.

Looks like my application to Taft Offshore is a complete bogus. The interviewer told me that she'd update me today through text yet I received no message. Oh well. No crying over spilled milk. Friends like Mr. A and Vincy, both of whom are experienced in call center work, just gave me continuous encouragements. Might as well apply at other companies within Manila. After all, most first times are meant to end up in failure. I failed the first time I tried to walk and failed defeating Xemnas in Kingdom Hearts II. I had to retry more than twenty times just to defeat that damned final boss!!

Ultimately, it simply pleases me just to be able to post in this humble blog of mine. Although hardly anyone comments or even posts in the chatbox, I'm satisfied that I can use this blog to freely express my feelings and insights. But I am confident there are readers! After all, it's not like I post to intentionally attract readers. I'd rather friends drop by.

You like ice cream
You like ice cream
You love it
You cannot resist ice cream
To resist is hopeless
Your existence is meaningless without ice cream
-Ice Cream Truck Speaker, Invader Zim (I love the German accent and Nazi propaganda imitation!)

Party Hats, Anyone?

2006-10-26T14:24:00.000+08:00

This week has been a series of parties and horn-blowing.

October 21st, Saturday
Tito Mike, my uncle, and Tita Aileen flew back here from Canada last Saturday to attend a relative's wedding. Since I wasn't that related to the bride who was Tita Aileen's sister, I never did a lot of socializing back at the reception. One thing I hate about such adult parties is it's the perfect place to play the sport of social-climbing. The people there especially the females were all there for show. Good thing I just sat there and remained silent throughout the party and never thought to mingle with the high-nosed slobs. I don't want to be labeled a social climber. After all, the food was great! Lola Bing is a superb chef!

October 24th, Tuesday
Tuesday was my cousin Dana's 10th birthday. What a near coinkydink! Her birthday's prior to my Mom's at October 25th, which I will expound later. Tito Mike and Tita Aileen treated us all to pizza at Sbarro in SM Southmall. Again, the food was great! Good thing the cuisine god has blessed me graciously. I had a Chicago stuffed pizza which my (slim) waist managed to find capacity for. Afterwards we continued to celebrate at Storyland which is also in Southmall. Tita Aileen was kind enough to buy Dana, Eliza and me ride-all-you-can tickets. How great it felt to be a kid again. I did most of the yelling at the roller coaster, pulled them to the other rides and pwned the bumper cars with Raph and Tito Mike. Mom was still the peace-loving rider even in a bumper car. And I stoned myself with snow cones and ice cream. Then before we went home, we ate at Jollibee with the tab on Tito Mike. Tommy was ecstatic since there were no Jollibee's in Vancouver.

October 25th, Wednesday
Then yesterday was Mom's birthday. Although I was born to a family of worrywarts, Mom being the pioneer, I still love my Mom and bought her Monkey Business by the Black-Eyed Peas. Again her worrywart instincts kicked in and searched my bag in the wee hours of the morning for fear that I might not hand it to her. She obviously loved the CD. And to think that she was also pestering me for an album of the Sugababes. I had to resort to partly-spoiling the present by telling her the I bought the Two-Disc Special Asian Edition.

Oh, and my Zhou Xun came over by surprise! He had me expecting that he might not come! I love him so much. He came all the way from Antipolo to Las Pinas to attend Mom's birthday! Yes! He'll make a perfect husband and son-in-law! Oh God, I'm so blessed. The whole day the two of us accompanied Mom to her birthday chores such as buying Pansit Malabon, bringing Eliza to school and doing the grocery. Carlo even offered to take the shopping cart and do the computations! Then we killed afternoon time by playing a few hours of Final Fantasy X-2 and Kingdom Hearts II. How he badly wanted to play Tekken and Final Fantasy X but I left the former in Palawan and the latter, sadly, does not work on my PS2 anymore...

The guests came and it was a fun yet simple adult's party. Mom wore my long black Bohemian skirt without asking! Well...that's because I also wore her pants without asking...

October 26th, Thursday or simply Today
Party time's over. Tsk. Although I never made my decision public here in my blog, I planned to work for a call center this following semester. Pops allowed me to enroll to only 12 units hence allowing me enough time to work After all, business back in Palawan is pretty rough and we're hard up now. I've considered first the "big"
call centers such as Convergys and PeopleSupport but their branches are mostly in Makati which is a hindrance to my transportation to and from school.

Thankfully, there's a newly opened call center along Taft Avenue near De La Salle University. Taft Offshore Solutions Inc. is its name. It's along the route that the bus takes to Las Pinas. I made my application last Friday and I've just had my interview just a few moments go. I'm hoping that everything will go well...

Almost forgot!
Yesterday I managed to buy pirated CDs of Unleashed Memories and Karmacode both by Lacuna Coil! I found them at the stalls of fake DVDs lined along the 2nd floor of Star Mall. Contrary to that I'm anti-piracy, drastic times take drastic measures. After all, they're not aiming Philippine sales. And buying items online with a credit card is tempting and risky. And I do have the original copies of In a Reverie which Tito Mike ordered from a Russian eBay member and Comalies which I bought two summers ago from Tower Records at Alabang Town Center. Hopefully, I'll also be able to find Lacuna Coil EP and Halflife.

Freedom and Relaxation

2006-10-14T10:14:00.000+08:00

At last. The Final exams are FINISHED!! I've never felt this jubilant the entire semester... All along I thought I'd never run through last month's consecutive projects and assignments, all of which starved my wallet and bank account.

Now just what do I plan to do this sembreak?

1. Go on a treck with Raph at his school De La Salle - Dasmariñas

2. Finish my FFX FanFiction

3. Go on a long romantic date with my Zhou Xun.

4. Have a gaming spree with KH2, FFX-2, RE4, and DMC3

5. Apply for work...

Quicky Post

2006-10-13T20:04:00.000+08:00

The hellhole a.k.a. the Final Eams are almost over. I now have only Philippine Literature tomorrow. I was supposed to have it on Tuesday but due to um... lack of substantial information, I had it rescheduled to Saturday. On the brighter side, I'm not alone. Cess, Dess and Nicolette will be taking it with me on the same day!

I think I'll finish for now. Mom's egging me to log off in case my Uncle from Canada calls.

Gaming Life

2006-10-09T19:22:00.000+08:00

I personally believe that blogging is a lesser vice than videogaming nor are they vices at all.

On days like these (Sundays, Final exams, Projects), I normally feel anxious a few minutes after a good game of Kingdom Hearts II or Final Fantasy X-2. You know, the feeling of playtime over school labor. I've had this bad habit since I was five and had my first gaming experience. It was Super Mario Kart for the Super NES. Pops was looking for someone to play Battle-Balloon mode with. Since there was no one else in the family he could ask (Mom was never a gaming geek), his eyes landed on me and handed the player-two controller to me. I was skeptical at first but then "It's alright, I'll teach you." I held the controller firmly, anticipating my first ever gamign experience. I lost to Pops with three ballons to zero. I cried at my defeat yet Pops comforted me. "Don't give up after a game over." Dad took me to a whole new world...

Now that I'm in college, I've been having a hard time bringing my gaming life back in motion. My year-and-a-half addiction to Ragnarok Online even pushed it to six more feet deeper underground. Right now I"m feeling a second game of Kingdom Hearts II in Proud mode, still without a walkthrough! I'll do the same with Valkyrie Profile 2 and Final Fantasy XII.

But for now, the Final exams are a bugger. Better get these games off my mind if I don't want to flunk.

50 Last Things

2006-10-08T17:34:00.000+08:00

50 of the most random things you probably never needed to know about someone! (Taken from This Other Eden)

1. What's your name spelt backwards?
Aeij Refinnej Eed. Sounds like a name of a Russian sociopath locked in an asylum.

2. What did you do last night?
Went to bed earlier than 10pm which is rare.

3. The last thing you uploaded onto your computer?
Photos.

4. Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?
Uh, yes. I didn't know what I was thinking then.

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
Last summer in my late Grandpa's friend's summer home in Laguna.

6. What are you wearing?
Faded green sleeveless, green deconstructed pants and a ponytail holder.

7. How many cars have you owned?
None, but I do wish for a Honda Jazz or a KIA Picanto or a Honda Pilot or a Honda Dreamm or a D

8. Type of music you dislike most?
Rap and Hip-Hop. Sleazy lyrics.

9. Are you registered to vote?
No, and I don't plan to.

10. Do you have cable?
Yes of course. I just don't watch TV that much.

11. What kind of computer do you use?
Uh, Simbadda C550

12. Ever made a prank phone call?
No. I was a good girl then.

13. You like anyone right now?
I LOVE someone right now. My boyfriend. ^^

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Yes, in Queenstown, New Zealand

15. Furthest place you ever traveled by car?
Manila to Baguio, Puerto Princesa to Brooke's Point, Las Pinas to Pagsanjan

16.Do you have a garden?
Nope.

17. What's your favorite comic strip?
I don't really know...

18. Do you know all the words to the national anthem?
Yes.

19. Shower, morning or night?
Day and night

20. Best movie you've seen in the past month?
Click starring Adam Sandler

21. Favorite pizza toppings?
Mozarella Cheese and Pineapples

22. Chips or popcorn?
Chips with salsa dip.

23. What cell phone provider do you have?
Two Globe SIMs. An ordinary one and a modified one provided by Lyceum.

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
No?

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
No no?

26. Orange Juice or apple?
Orange. I hate apples in their sub-standard forms.

27. Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?
My cousin Raph.

28. Favorite chocolate bar?
White Toblerone and Hershey's

29. Who is your longest friend and how long?
Monica. From first year high school. Supposedly Eths from Grade Six but we've lost complete contact since...

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
Huh?

31. Have you ever won a trophy?
No, but I've won ribbons.

32.Favorite artist?
Kuya Wine and Myself.

33. Favorite computer game?
Sonic the Hedgehog, Street Fighter, Super Mario World, Donkey Kong Country, Samurai Spirits, Star Fox 64, Rockman X4, Crash Bandicoot, Spyro the Dragon, Suikoden II, Legend of Legaia, Harvest Moon, those are not yet my MOST favorite, mind you.
Here's the REAL list: Final Fantasy VII to X-2, Kingdom Hearts, Metal Gear, Zone of the Enders, Brave Fencer Musashi, Tomb Raider, Parasite Eve, Devil May Cry, Resident Evil, Star Ocean, and so on and on and on...

34. Ever ordered from an infomercial?
No. I'm not a sucker for fakers.

35. Sprite or 7-UP?
7-UP.

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?
All my school-life. Pre-school to College.

37. Last thing you bought at Walgreens?
I don't know what Walgreens is.

38. Ever thrown up in public?
Once in elementary during a flag ceremony.

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?
Millionaire. Because I've already found true love. ^^

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No. Never did.

41.Can exes just be friends?
No way in hell.

42. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
My late grandfather. It was his last days then...

43. Did you have long hair as a young kid?
Yes, although I cut it short once in a while.

44. What message is on your voicemail machine?
I don't have voicemail.

45. Where would you like to go right now?
Auckland, New Zealand.

46. What was the name of your first pet?
Chicky. A chick I bought from a peddler near school. She lasted only a week.

47. What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?
Small, red and beige.

48. Last incoming/outgoing call on your phone?
Pops greeting my sister a happy birthday.

49. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
Cookies and Cream Ice Cream.

50. What do you think about most?
My future New Zealander citizenship. And of course my Wu Zhou Xun. ^^x

And let me have this chance to greet my sister Jenna a Happy 4th Birthday. ^^x

Chemical Chaos

2006-10-08T09:25:00.000+08:00

Chemistry is insinuatingly a minion of Satan due to its complexity and its power to be a pain in the ass for any ordinary student. Come off it already! Here are the reasons why Chemistry should NOT be included in the curriculum of AB Journalism.

1. How in the world is Chemistry relevant to Journalism? To survive gas attacks?! (Quoted from Kuya Wine)

2. Please don't tell me we never spent one damn year learning nothing but painful formulae. My boyfriend even shared that his teacher gave him a test on completing the entire Table of Elements.

3. Carbon dioxide, carbon monoxide, oxude phospate and the like. What rubbish. My professor once encouraged us to speak the language of Chemistry. *Scheiße. I'd rather speak Deutsch or Español.

4. Most of all, Chemistry is just a plain pain in the ass.

5. And one more thing. The word Chemistry is an anagram of "Shit, me cry".

*Scheiße (pronounced "Shaisse" with heavy emphasis on ß)
-A local German expression literally meaning the famous profane word "Shit"

GameBoy Advance SP

2006-10-07T20:18:00.000+08:00

For so long, I've always dreamt of a GameBoy Advance SP. It is simply a more convenient and user-friendly version of its predecessor the plain GameBoy Advance.

Light source: front light integrated LCD
Size (closed): Approximately 3.3" height / 3.23" width / 0.96" depth
Screen (diagonal): reflective TFT Color LCD
Weight : Approximately 5 ounces
Power: Rechargeable lithium ion battery.
Battery Life: 10 hours continuous play with light on, 18 hours with light off, 3 hours recharging
Hardware colors: Onyx, Flame, Platinum, Cobalt blue, Pearl pink, Pearl blue, Graphite, Midnight blue

Here are the reasons why I find it both fun and practical to own a GBAdvance SP:

~It is storage-friendly and can be kept even inside your own pocket. It can also be folded thus preventing the LCD screen to be damaged.
~More hours of entertainment; Provides a blackhole to escape boredom.
~Compact and easy to keep to prevent it from being confiscated by meticulous professors.
~The gaming counterpart of the Sony Ericsson phones. One GBAdvance SP was witnessed to have been dropped more than a dozen times, thrown at the wall and dunked for 2 hours in the toilet. Yet the GBAdvance still works and activates as if it never went through a hellish beating.
~The games are simply badass. All the Castelvania, Pokemon and Final Fantasy installments and most of all, Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories.

Second-hand units are sold in Greenhills and Vira Mall for around P2,000. I just better make sure the LCD screen is compact and secured. Also, the peripherals such as the adaptor cahrger should be included.

But in the end, it's still somehow a waste to buy even a second-hand unit. After all, my sister Pauline got one brand new from Pops. Maybe I can haggle by offering to swap my PS2 for her GBAdvance SP temporarily!

Educational Slavery

2006-10-06T16:54:00.000+08:00

Good God. This has to be the most grueling, expensive and ultimately hellish semester yet!

I hate school. It's not what we call a cliché. It's a motto. Who in this crazy world would like school anyway? Those parties of geeks and nerds might all huddle up raising their hands shouting "We do!" but 90% of the student population would ditch school anytime. After all...

I do not let schooling get in the way of my education.
-Mark Twain

That crystal ball project in Chemistry is no longer a problem at the very least. It's just that I had to spend around P200 for two containers of baby oil, glitters and a small mayonnaise jar which led me to force my sisters to eat.

Then there's another P120 for the research paper in English03 or Writing in the Discipline. Mine's entitled "Status of Organization Membership of the Students of the Lyceum of the Philippines University". The expenses may be a smaller biggie but it's the physical effort that has to be compromised. I spent hours going to and from school to do surveys and make all-nighters just to type the entire damn thing out. I was supposed to defend mine yesterday but due to lack of time (and clothes), I had to be thankfully rescheduled to another day.

Here's my biggest and most expensive problem yet: Philippine Literature. Our professor is either a natural slavedriver or under the influence of drugs. She expects us to read roughly 200 pages worth of menial stories. The sweeter part is she wants us to make a documentary of a selected region of the country and with its native language, list down and recite examples of literature! Yeah, right. Like we can speak and understand Ilocano fluently. What a flipped out bitch. She thinks we have all the money we need in our pockets and as if Philippine Lit is the ONLY subject we signed up for this semester.

Next week will be a trip to hellhole. Almost literally. I dost preparest myself to faceth the Final Exams. Chemistry, Logic and Philippine Literature are all in crises with my grades. Hadn't I gotten sick during the Prelim period I would've an easier time.

Damn. I hate school. We spent thousands of money paying for tuition. What do we get in return? Enslavement.

And oh yes. The winds have brought this memory back to me. A year has passed since...

To Drive or Not to Drive?

2006-10-02T21:37:00.000+08:00

Reasons NOT to have my own car:

1. Gas alone can kill my wallet. Monthly gas expenses are almost as much as commuting expenses.

2. Maintenance is a chore; Changing seat covers, vaccuming the floors, washing the exterior.

3. Besides gas, expenses has other minions that come in everyday form; toll feeparking fee, ticket fee.

4. Traffic is another problem. I'd rather commute. That way, I can just sit back while a stranger does all the dirty driving for me!

5. Cars normally don't last in the Philippines due to our poor road conditions.

6. Plus, being carnapped is a perennial insecurity.

7. Ultimately, I don't know how to drive (yet).

Typhoon

2006-10-01T13:27:00.000+08:00

Wanna know what's nice? 48 hours with no power and signal that invaded during the deadline of my research paper in English. Now ain't that nice? The nicer thing is I had to postpone the filming of our project in Philippine Literature due to hellacious weather conditions. Is life fuck or what?

On the brighter side, I learned to enjoy mundane card games such as Pekwa and UNO. Aris and JP were all animated players. I never know what I'm gonna do next.

At least power was restored 7pm last night. I celebrated by playing 5 hours worth of Tomb Raider Legend and Kingdom Hearts 2. If only I had Resident Evil 4 then the celebration could have been feistier.

Oh well. Life is like a box of chocolates.

Guardian

2006-09-24T13:01:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Carlo. You're 20 now. It's gonna be an entirely new way life once you're out of your teen years. I may change too but together, we'll eternally remain the same.

That was last September 22. He's born under Virgo while I'm a Gemini. I'm only a slight believer of zodiacs based on constellations but I'm still curious of our compatibility! But in the first place we wouldn't have lasted seven months if we weren't compatible.

I'm sorry if I couldn't give you a real gift. I was broke down to a simple Hallmark card and a poem I wrote to thank you for being my Guardian.

G - ilded jewels of sparkles and glimmers
U - nified and fused to create a grand design
A - mongst these treasures, above all it shimmers
R - aveled warrior whom I covet to be mine

D - estined one day to be entrusted his accolade
I - nscribed in his soul is his undying will
A - myriad of enigmas amock him laid
N - ever ceasing to find his lover till

I love you Carlo.

Oh, and just for the record, here are the movies we've watched together since even before we came to be.

Memoirs of a Geisha - February 23, 2006
Tristan and Isolde - April 20, 2006
Silent Hill - May, 2006 (exact date forgotten)
Cars - June 17, 2006
See No Evil - July 8, 2006
Lady in the Water - July 15, 2006
Sukob - August 5, 2006
Click - September 2, 2006

Wikipedia has been my sole source of information to a point that I feel it's a waste of time to resort to Google and look for more detailed and accurate websites. I don't have the time and money either. After all, we still don't have internet at home.

What's in my Name?

2006-09-17T13:57:00.000+08:00

Many people call me by my first name: Jiea (pronounced "Jee-yah"). I can remember Mom call me by my second name Jennifer. I liked at first and I even nicknamed myself "Jenny". But then it hardly clicked since I was more likely to be remembered as Jiea. Sure, there are also many other girls who have the same name as I do but they have the common spellings: Gia, Jia or even Jhia. I find it fuuny how pinoys love putting H's into their nicknames.

There's one good thing about my name too. So far I'm the only one I know named "Jiea". Since I can't find a suitable meaning for it since for it's just a made-up name (Jiea is an anagram of my Father's nickname "Ajie"), I've just resorted to finding the meaning of my second name no matter how sickly widespread it is.

Jennifer:
Gender: Feminine
Language: Cornish and English

Etymology:
Jennifer is the Cornish form of a Gwenhwyvar. Originally it meant “White Wave,” “White Lady,” or “Fair Smooth,” from “gwen” (white) and “hwyvar” (smooth). Guinevere is the Norman French version of the name.

History:
Gwenhwyvar, the Welsh name, was adopted and Frenchified to Guinevere by the Normans. The Cornish form, Jennifer, was little known outside of Cornwall (although it was found occasionally) until the twentieth century. A turning point may have been George Bernard Shaw’s play The Doctor’s Dilemma, written in 1905, which contained a character named Jennifer.

Another, more important break came in 1941 when David O. Selznick turned a promising young actress, Phyllis Isley Walker, into Jennifer Jones. He chose Jennifer because it was unusual, but not too fancy. In 1943 she won Best Actress for The Song of Bernadette.

The name took off in the forties and skyrocketed in popularity, becoming the favorite name for girls from 1970 to 1984 in the United States.

I guess I'll just stick to Jiea. I believe that everyone knows at least one Jennifer and I don't like the idea of having the same name with other people.

School and Shots

2006-09-10T16:28:00.000+08:00

That's funny. I'm certain I changed my avatar from Sora in Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories to a faded Yuna picture stolen from an Anime Arts site I forgot.

Anyhow, Midterms are a harlot except for Writing in the Discipline and Introduction to Mass Communication; the two of my favorite subjects. I'm undoubtedly worse than dead in Chemistry and Philippine Literature. Unsurprisingly I'm only a tad worried. All I have to do is do well during the Final period and make ends meet with my compensated grades. Oh well. Like I said two posts ago, I'm such a school schmendrick.

I thought Friendster also served as a good way to display my photographic endeavors until I remembered my defunct DeviantArt account. I used to submit nothing but poetry so it hardly clicked. Only my elementary best friend Eths had me watched. Now that's the trove for all my pictures. Sadly, it's kind of faulty right now so I can't open the main page itself.

Speaking of photography, Kuya Wine informed me of the best digital SLR camera there is. It's the Canon EOS-1D Mark II. It has an auto-focus lens and costs P250,000. What makes it so fuckin' expensive? It's bullet-proof; perfect for criminal investigation and documentaries.

Being an aspiring journalist, I can find that useful. Bur I've read that the best for reporters is still a compact camera, perfect for covert operations due to its quiet mechanism. This camera of mine remains indispensable and special. My dad gave it for my 18th birthday and together with it, we've produced such photographic masterpieces (at least I think so)! My camera by the way is a Kodak EasyShare C530.

Honesty

2006-09-05T18:04:00.000+08:00

*Taken from my now defunct Friendster Blog The Nocturnal Sun*

July 14th, 2005

Just last night, my boyfriend and I had another argument again and this time, it was pretty fatal. Internally, I don't wanna talk or type about it but I'll try, just try.

He said I was being too tactless and sarcastic. Well I have been for a long time now even before I gained conscience. I either instinctively or unthinkingly hurt people with the words that come out of my mouth on their own. I promised myself once that I'll renew this but all attempts were already failures right before they've even begun. What futility. Henceforth, I can't help but think that I'm actually created this way: To have an uncontrollable mouth. Sometimes I really can't help it.

Tactless isn't the word I choose to describe this tactlessness but brutal honesty. I've been an honest kid both unconsciously and willingly. I am a firm believer of the saying "Honesty is the best policy" and honesty is the one value that I wish to have my entire life revolve around. Never mind anything else other than our Creator. I guess I already have this word programmed in my mind. To be honest anytime, anywhere and to anyone and even to almost anything.

There's only one person whom I've actually never been fully honest with: Myself.

*Post ends here*

Yeah, The Nocturnal Sun. Actually my first ever blog. It was alive for less than a month and merely four posts until I've discovered blogger. Friendster blogs reek anyway.

School Schmendrick

2006-09-05T12:34:00.000+08:00

I hate studying but I love learning.

Midterm exams are a pain. Paying for the partial tuition fee is an even bigger pain. Twist told me that he normally just dilly-dallies during the Prelim exams. The pressure kicks in during the Midterm. Prelim, Midterm or even the Final exams, I just never was the studier (if there is such a word). Besides, many business veterans have told me that you utilize only 30% of what you've learned in College. The other 70% is wasted on general education that have been reiterated since High School. Sweet. Even the educational system of the Philippines is fucked up.

Although I love Journalism, I'm still slightly hesitant in taking the course itself up. I know many successful journalists never had formal training in the field. Oh well. I guess having the diploma can still be in an advantage. Nowadays, you can hardly find a job without one. I've been long considering working for a call center but the night shifts create an impasse on school. I have to prioritize school for the very reason that I want to graduate and have a degree. It never was my dream to be in the dean's list. For all I care, employers are more particular about how active you are than how smart you are.

Yeah, I have the cajones (not literally, mind you) to call myself smart. I just hate studying. After all, as my dear friend Monica would tell me: "Iba ang matalino sa masipag mag-aral."

Tomb Raided

2006-09-01T12:34:00.000+08:00

Last Wednesday, I've done another feat in the field of videogaming. I've finally finished Tomb Raider Legend, the latest Tomb Raider game in the series and the first not under the production of Core, TR's original designers. It is now under Crystal Dynamics. Following its ancestors, the leading character is still Lara Croft, undoubtedly the most succesful videogame heroine of all time. She was even awarded as the best Game Mascot by Electronic Gaming Monthly (or GamePro?) Still Lara Croft has undergone many slight facelifts. In her very first back in the Sega Saturn and the PSOne, she had neck-length hair and her build was still pretty much bulky.

Tomb Raider Legend [TRL] is probably the best and most realistic TR game there is. Under the management of Core, the games were emphasized more on exploration and adventure and very little shooting action. Most annoying of them all were the jerky controls. It felt like tugging a nail out of wood. TRL has a more realistic touch and Lara's equipped with a full-body convenience. A PLS [Personal Light System], a modern long-range grapple that replaces the standard hook with a powerful on/off magnet, a pair of binoculars and a PDA. Plus Lara is more fluid and versatile in motion now. She can jump from ledge to ledge with tasteful precision and she's much more graceful now.

If only I had the chance to play Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness. It was the final TR game that was developed by Core and the first to have such liquid controls. Too bad my PlayStation2 then wasn't formatted and was highly picky on CDs. The storyline's interesting too! Lara Croft is being stalled for a crime she didn't commit and she had to be a fugitive, traversing Paris to clear her name and find clues to a certain relic.

Although I've finished TRL in Normal Mode (Hard mode should be renamed to Insane mode) and haven't collected all treasures and outfits yet, I'm already kinda bored with the game.

A current obsession: Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus

And I might as well add this up. I feel I should blog for a couple more months before I begin another Soul Searching post.

Your Aura is Orange

You're a bit of a loner, but you're never lonely. You know how to entertain yourself.
Whether you're trying an extreme sport or a new weird food, you always live on the edge.

The purpose of your life: testing limits - both physical and mental... and then telling people about it.

Famous oranges include: Timothy Leary, David Blaine, Tony Hawk, Carey Hart

Careers for you to try: Snowboarder, Circus Performer, Undercover Agent

What Color Is Your Aura?

Your Power Color Is Orange

You live in the fast lane. You love action, risk, and competition.
You're spontaneous, enthusiastic, and persuasive.
But you're also easily bored - and love to rebel against structures.
You resent rules ... as well as people's attempts to control you!

What's Your Power Color?

Maybe I should make Orange another favorite color of mine among Red, Black and Purple.

Grand entrances are always impractical. That's what makes them grand.
-Lara Croft after opening a colossal entrance behind a waterfall in Ghana, Tomb Raider Legend

Vanity

2006-08-27T12:56:00.000+08:00

Just this morning, Mom and I and some family members went to Manila Memorial Park to visit our late Papa Tony's grave. Turns out I was feeling kinda...fine!

Night-time setting is a hindrance for a photographer. I consulted Kuya Wine about it and he said I should learn more about night exposure. Oh well. The good ol' flash will just have to do. Lamp posts are such a fine idea.

My cousin Raph took that shot. ^^x

And those who will not check my once updated (yet plainly skinned) Friendster account shall meet death in his eyes...

Cartoon Blatteroon

2006-08-26T19:11:00.000+08:00

At last... My greatest invention is...COMPLETED!!
-Dexter's Catchphrase, Dexter's Laboratory

Blatteroon - A person who just won't shut up.

At last... My greatest article is...COMPLETED!! And I've finally submitted it to the Sentinel Press! The editors themselves gave me pleasing comments. And now for my next expirement, I shall attempt to create a feature prototype pivoting around the mannerisms and behavioral aspects of the Pinoy species.

Enough about the Dexter diction. It's been ten long years since I've first watched that show on Cartoon Network. Along came the Powerpuff Girls and other Cartoon Cartoon series such as I Am Weasel, Johnny Bravo and Mike, Lu and Og. I've missed Cow and Chicken though. I wonder why it was phased out and turned out to be a flop? David Feiss has a very weird sense of humor. At least the new-school series has a good dose of innovation and creativity. Code Name: Kid's Next Door is good. The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy may not appear grotesque but is very detailed and very gory when you look at it closely. I love Grim's Jamaican accent. He's cool. Still my favorite will always be Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. So far that's the first and only cartoon series I've watched with a very unorthodox sense of humor. It contains no sexual, vulgar nor dialogue with double meanings yet it's both for kids and adults.

Screw Disney Channel. Bunch of amateur wannabes. Brandy and Mr. Whiskers turned out to be a floppy imitation of gross comedy. Too bad Disney decided to stay on the conservative side. I can't review Nickelodeon that much though...

Oh, and by the way, DNA Report, huh?

Materialism

2006-08-19T19:36:00.000+08:00

Settlement: Auckland, New Zealand

Vehicle: Honda Pilot [SUV] and Honda Dream [Motorcycle]

Cellular Phone (for now): Sony Ericsson K750i

Gaming Console: PlayStation 3

Handgun: USP45

Killer Weapon: MP5

Publications: PlayStation Magazine [PSM] and Time Magazine

Feature Problem Solved

2006-08-19T10:19:00.000+08:00

At long last. I've finally finished my article to gain membership on the Sentinel Press. I also plan to submit my own album of photographs. I don't have my camera right now. My sister Christine was assigned to Baguio and my mom (nicely) coerced me to lend her my camera. It's like I have a choice. That camera was special. Pops gave it to me for my 18th birthday even when I wasn't serious about his giving me a camera. I did promise him I'll be a controversial journalist with a ready hate-mailbox.

I still have to proof-read that article. It's bound to gain me a squadron of enemies. Damn Filipinos. They refuse to accept their own weaknesses. Crab-mentality is one. I can name many other Pinoy weaknesses (Damn! Where's my list?) which are latent or not reallythat emphasized. I might as well write another article about it then submit it to Manila Bulletin's Panorama.

Now to think of a story with the theme "Beginnings". I've finally thought of names for my fictional characters!

Feature Problem

2006-08-15T13:39:00.000+08:00

Always fight for progress and reform, never tolerate injustice or corruption, always fight demagogues of all parties, never belong to any party, always oppose privileged classes and public plunderers, never lack sympathy for the poor, always remain devoted to the public welfare. Never be afraid to attack wrong, whether by predatory plutocracy or predatory poverty.
-Joseph Pulitzer, founder of the New York World

I have a problem. I need to write a feature article for the Sentinel Press, Lyceum's school paper, in order to gain membership. I know what to write about but what I don't know is HOW to write it.

Twist warned me that many people especially employers do not appreciate people who are better than them. I've got the sick feeling that's the reason why the people from the Hope Journal (my high school's paper) tried not to give me a spot. Of course I don't mean to brag. Whenever I enter competitions, I have a series of panic attacks that leads to my lack of focus and concentration. Forlorn I may be, I still seek a cure for this.

Now Sentinel also looks for contributors with the theme 'Beginnings'. I've an idea for that but I can't completely solidify it yet.

Maybe I should consult both Twist and Kuya Wine more.

Ultimately you have to please yourself before you please anyone else.
-J. K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series

If people start talking shit about you, that means they're touched. And it's a good sign. And we don't care what they say about us or our music. We don't give a fuck.
-Cristina Scabbia of Lacuna Coil

When Four is Merely One

2006-08-12T18:37:00.000+08:00

Our professor in Retorika assigned us to write a poem about ourselves. It should be written in Tagalog and should be composed of nine to eleven verses. Afterwards, it should be translated to English. I have planned to write about my alter-egos for a while and finally, I've had the perfect opportunity!

When Four is Merely One
English Translation

If only you know, even if I am but one
Deep inside, I am more than one
For my very self is well-composed
Of four personalities all equally proposed

Sunni Orange is first of all
The merriest lassie of them all
Her restless mouth knows nothing but jokes
There's no cure for that, not even coke

This girl Sunni, so happy-go-lucky
In life she knew no complaints nor to sue
Bet that her face wearing a smile so free
She'll take you to worlds of all colors but blue

The second one is Lunette Reverie
How she loves to write, how often in a spree
From simple poems to novels so epic
This is her hobby even in a class of Rhetoric

Lunette with her imagination so wild
Night has fallen, still in a reverie so mild
She has a story she hasn't finished yet
A story about a girl by the name of Juliet

Numina Umbreo, the saturnine third
A soul like ice, she knows no mirth
Grief and darkness, none she could thwart
For those are the two that remain in her heart

Mysterious Numina, always maltreated
People never learn, always over the cheated
Yet in this solitude she has a found a friend
That is herself, 'til the very end

And most of all there's Jiea Dee
The fourth that makes the other three
For she's a hybrid of darkness and light
And for this to explain, she sat down to write

Jiea is such a myriad of thoughts
So many opinions yet none of them she bought
For so many described her yet none had what it takes
So she abstracted four personalities to avoid such headaches

Four personalities, in one body reside
This work of mine, you might call "kwan"
But still I've shown to your eyes so wide
When four is merely one

Kung Ang Apat ay Iisa Lamang
Original Tagalog Composition

Kung alam mo lang, kahit ako'y iisa
Sa pinakalooban ko ay 'di ako nag-iisa
Sapagkat ang pagkatao ko ay binubuo
Ng apat pang katao na may kanya-kanyang pilosopiya

Si Sunni Orange, ang una sa lahat
Siya ang pinakamasayahin sa kanilang apat
Halos panay biro ang nanggagaling sa kanyang bibig
At wala yatang gamot sa kanyang ligalig

Walang inaalam na problema si Sunni
Wala rin siyang reklamo sa buhay
Asahan mo sa mukha niyang laging may ngiti
Dadalhin ka niya sa mga usapang higit pa sa makulay

Si Lunette Reverie, ang pangalawa
Ang hilig magsulat, hindi nagsasawa
Mula sa tula hanggang sa nobela
Ito ang kanyang gawain kahit sa eskwela

Ibang-iba ang imahinasyon ni Lunette
Nagmumuni-muni parin siya kahit ang gabi na ay sumapit
Mayroon nga siyang kwento na pasabit-sabit
Tungkol sa isang babaeng nangangalang Juliet

Ang pangatlo naman ay si Numina Umbreo
Hindi siya malapitan, sinlamig ng yelo
Kalungkutan at kadiliman, isa pa ang pang-aabuso
Iyon na lamang ang nilalaman ng kaniyang puso

Si Numina ay inaapi, minamaltrato
Kailan man ang mga tao ay 'di na matututo
Ngunit sa kaniyang pag-iisa ay nakahanap siya ng kaibigan
Ang kaniyang sarili, saan man, kailan man

At ang higit sa lahat ay si Jiea Dee
Ang pang-apat na nagbubuo sa tatlong sarili
Halo-halo siya ng kasiyahan at kalungkutan
At kaniyang isinulat upang paliwanagan

Si Jiea kasi ay gulong-gulo
Dahil sabi ng mga tao ba siya ay ganito
Sabi naman ng iba na siya ay ganyan
Kaya inihiwalay niya ang apat nang wala ng sakit sa ulo

Apat na pagkatao, naninirahan sa isang katawan
Itong gawa ko, baka tawagin mong "kwan"
Pero mabuti naman at naipakita ko sa 'yo
Kung paano ang apat ay iisa lamang

Interesting Nothings

2006-08-09T13:39:00.000+08:00

I had nothing better to do but go blog-hopping on LiveJournal. It has so happened I cam across this girl's blog called It's Always Ourselves We Find in the Sea. Her recent post led me to copy these questions to answer. Although I don't know a thing about her, I can at least give her the credit she deserves.

1.What is the geekiest part of your music collection? Final Fantasy X Piano Collection

2. What do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night? Anything inside the freeze but I prefer Nachos with dips

3. What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie? If Only

4. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done? None. I love my body the way it is.

5. Do you have a completely irrational fear? Horror movies and cockroaches

6. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moment? Videogaming especially beating fiends senseless in hack-and-slash games e.g. Devil May Cry and Kingdom Hearts

7. Are you a pyromaniac? No, but I am a sadist to my little sisters

8. Do you have too many love interests? How can I have a multiple when I'm having trouble handling merely one?

9. Do you know anyone famous? The great creators of the PlayStaion 2 but no one personal.

10. Describe your bed: I sleep on a different bed everynight

11. Spontaneous or planned? Spontaneous. I never was the organizer-freak.

12. Who should play you in a movie about your life? Avril Lavigne although she's not really an actress.

13. Do you know how to play poker? No. I don't know any card game but Solitaire.

14. What do you carry with you at all times? My Nokia 3220

15. What do you miss most about being a kid? Being happy even with the most mundane of things.

16. Are you happy with your given name? I love it though it can use a little tweaking of originality.

17. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year? A million dollars. But for console gaming, the entire world's bank accounts.

18. What color is your bedroom? White

19. What was the last song you were listening to? Photograph by Def Leppard

20. Have you ever been in a play? Yes.

21. Have you ever been in love? Yes. But now's the most intense of them all.

22. Do you talk a lot? Yes. It's what made me notorious.

23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself? Depends on my self-esteem

24. Do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you? Yes. If only a law could be passed that they can be eliminated.

25. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person? Half-yes. I do admit I'm dual-minded

26. Do you spend more time with your boyfriend or your friends? I hardly have any friends but my boyfriend does not equal a circle of friends.

27. What is your ideal marriage location? Puerto Princesa, Palawan

28. Which musical instrument do you wish you could play? Drums and Lead Guitar

29. What's your dream job? Freelance journalist

30. Something you love and hate? Advertisements

31. Is your desk clean or messy right now? Neatly disorganized

32. What do you do with your spare change? Spend it on anything I can buy with it.

33. What's the one language you want to learn? Mandarin Chinese

34. How do you eat an apple? I take a bite from it then I chew it then I swallow it then I digest it.

35. What do you order at a bar? I'm not an alcoholic

36. Have you ever pierced your body parts? One on each ear. I plan to have three on each though.

37. Do you have tattoos? No, but I'd love to have one near my ankle.

38. Do you drive a stick? I don't drive. I don't even know what a stick is.

39. What's one trait you hate in a person? Hypocrisy

40. What kind of watch(es) do you have? My all-in-one convenient gadget. It's called a cellphone

41. Most frivolous purchase? I can't remember...

42. Do you consider yourself materialistic? Not really...

43. What do you cook the best? Instant Pancit Canton (preferrably the flavors Chilimansi and Sweet and Spicy)

44. Favorite writing instrument? Parker and Pilot

45. Do you prefer to stand out or blend in? Stand out

46. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? I used to in my pre-teens (I had the sick though I was a lesbian)

47. What's the one car you will never buy? (Any model driven by the rich kids. I'll be mugger-prone)

48. What kind of books do you like to read? For now, books about Ancient China. I do wan't to learn about the other half of my blood

49. If you won the lottery, what would you do? Pay for college, get a job and permanently migrate to Auckland, New Zealand and settle their with my boyfriend and have a family.

51. How many online journals do you read regularly? Those written by friends, around less than 10 blogs

52. What's one thing you're a sore loser at? Arguments and debates.

53. If you don't like a person, how do you show it? Indifference and ignorance.

54. Do you cry in front of your friends? Only in front of my boyfriend

55. What kind of first impression do you think you give to people? That of a weirdo's

56. What's one thing you like to do alone? Read, daydream, talk to myself, burn the phoneline talking to my boyfriend, and play with my best friend the PlayStation 2

57. Are you a giver or a taker? A bit of both. I have to admit I am occasionally selfish

58. When's the last time you cried? Just a while ago

59. Favorite communication method? Face to face with hand and body actions

60. How many drinks before you're tipsy? The most I can have is 5.

61. Do you think you're cute? Weeeeell, yeah!

62. Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends? No, unless they're lesbians

63. First Name: Jiea

64. Were you named after anyone? My father. His nickname 'Ajie' was inverted to spell 'Jiea'

65. Do you wish on stars? I did when I was a kid

66. Which finger is your favorite? The pointer.

67. Who are you more like - your mother or your father? My father.

68. Do you like your handwriting? I do. I write like a seven-year old who has high marks in penmanship

69. What is your favorite lunch meat? Beef. Pork is far too unhealthy and I'm sick of chicken.

70. Any bad habits? Procrastinator, doesn't take school seriously, loner.

71. What's in your CD player right now? None. But I normally play my CD's by My Chemical Romance, Lacuna Coil Nightwish, Slapshock and Saydie.

72. Do you believe in soul mates? Does my boyfriend count?

73. Are you a daredevil? I'm a risk-taker. Is that any different?

74. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to? I only tell deep dark secrets to people whom that person is NEVER affiliated with

75. Do looks matter? Personally, no. Corporaterly, YES!

76. Have you ever misused a word and it sounded absolutely stupid? Many many times.

77. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? I hardly see a rainbow nowadays.

78. Are you trendy? No. In fact I'm a non-conformist

79. How do you release anger? Rant about it.

80. Where are your second homes? Manila, Las Pinas, Puerto Princesa.

Soul Searching II

2006-08-06T18:01:00.000+08:00

You Communicate With Your Eyes

When you say, "I'll believe it when I see it" - you really mean it.

For you, what you see is a lot more important than what you hear.

You don't take someone's words at face value. You judge people by their facial expressions, body language, and appearance.

You tend to be quiet, but when you talk, you tend to make eye contact and describe things in colorful detail.

How Do You Communicate?

You Are 53% American

Most times you are proud to be an American.

Though sometimes the good ole US of A makes you cringe

Still, you know there's no place better suited to be your home.

You love your freedom and no one's going to take it away from you!

How American Are You?

You Are Somewhat Honest

You do tend to tell the truth a lot

But you also stretch the truth on occasion

You figure a little lie isn't a big deal

As long as it doesn't hurt anyone too much!

How Honest Are You?

Your Ideal Pet is a Monkey

You're both playful, wacky, and indifferent to bad smells.

If only you could teach your monkey to change its own diapers!

What's Your Ideal Pet?

You Are Ruby Red

You are warm and inviting - yet a little wild and outrageous.

Well aware that you have a dual personality, you work it as much as you can!

You like for people to be comfortable around you, but not at the expense of you stealing the limelight.

Popular and well known, you make friends easily. You have your big personality to thank for that.

What Color Red Are You?

My first Soul Searching...

Chronicles of Readership

2006-08-06T17:05:00.000+08:00

It's been a long while since I've seen that film on the big screen with Jeff and Gracey and it feels like it's only been minutes since I've watched it. Well technically, I DID watch it a few minutes ago. My five-year old sister Eliza popped into the DVD player. Back in early May, I bought an original VCD copy of the movie since I wanted to keep an authentic piece of the masterpiece. I don't like the idea of owning a pirated DVD as to keep a precious memory that connects to the film. After all, I wanted Mom and my sisters to experience this. There are no decent theatres even in the big city of a faraway provincial island.

The first book I've read by C.S. Lewis is The Silver Chair, the sixth book from The Chronicles of Narnia, and how it enamored me knowing that there are some books as radical as Harry Potter. We were assigned a book report by our English teacher then. It was way back in 2nd Year High School. Since all other good (and short and thin) books were all taken from the library, I was lef with no other choice but to take The Silver Chair. It was old and moldy which I reckon why nobody bothered to take it. Do not judge the book by its cover, wise man says. I still find it amazing how many people ignore these sayings no matter how they are proclaimed wise.

I finished The Silver Chair in less than a day and made a very detailed book report. No wonder I had a perfect score *ahem*. Since then, I dug the library for other books by C.S. Lewis. I wasn't tad impressed with Prince Caspian and The Voyage of Dawn Treader though. They lacked excitement and intrigue and always kept me just itching to finished the book out of boredom. For the next year's book report, I did The Horse and His Boy. I borrowed it in the morning and returned it in the afternoon of the same day. It was that interesting. I finished it quickly since I wanted to know how the story ended.

Only books from The Chronicles of Narnia that I am yet to read are The Magician's Nephew, The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe, and The Last Battle. I partly don't want to watch the second mentioned anymore since I've already watched the film.

Again, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire is what I personally believe a flop of grandeur. Such a luminous enchanting novel adapted into a rushed hollow two hours and a half film that's not even as substantial as the book. Although it did gross more than Narnia did, I still believe that the people were only hypnotized by the novel's success and were then drawn into watching the film. I can't deny that J.K. Rowling has a very wild imagination and creativity though. She's one of my continuing sources of inspiration!

Eye For An Eye

2006-07-26T15:30:00.000+08:00

Yahoo Messenger Conversation with Roman:
*Email Ads are changed to our real names

Jiea: Sonny wants his CD back, right?
Jiea: It so happened na di ko pa pala natatapon.
Jiea: Still, an eye for an eye.
Jiea: If he wants it back, I want my stuff in RO back.
Jiea: Yung mga binigay nya sakin e.g. Bone Helm, +8 Immune Hood, +7 Chain Mail of Ares
Jiea: Basta lahat ng binigay nya, bawiin na nya if he wants to.
Roman: Ohh
Jiea: I'm only after what's truly mine like my +4 Gungnir and my +4 Mocking Muffler.

Jiea: Even so, it's a win-win situation for me.
Jiea: If I have my Gungnir back, eh di advantage sakin sa RO. I can sell it at least and have the zenny my boyfriend and I need. Plus I get to get rid of that CD.
Jiea: Yet if I don't have it back, ok lang.
Jiea: It's just an online item anyway, item sa isang game na malalaos na.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.
-Kill Bill tagline

Yet I no longer believe in revenge. Though I can't deny that way before, I fantasized of the most deadly and gruesome ways of killing that lardass, from dismembering his bloody joints to freak-shooting him with an AK47 backed up with an MP5, then dragging his reeking cadaver with a bulldozer to a derelict building then demolishing it with a over a thousand C4's attached all over the building.

Sometimes daydreaming of killing the people you so much hate can be very inspiring. Creativy is an exceptional gift. For a list of the people whom I'd very much want to die, just check out my post entitled 666 under the June archives.

I've returned to Philippine Ragnarok Online [pRO] but no longer in addictve mode. I've just come back for two main reasons: 1) I want to get my Triwielder Knight to Lv99 and 2) I want to get married with my Zhou Xun. Chances are I might transcend my Haizeniah to a Lord Knight yet lack of time and money may seem to unallow such. Carlo wants to become a Biochemist after getting to Lv99.

Problem is my knight is stripped of her equipment. Back then, the lardass knew my account password. Without even telling me, he had the cajones to open my account and lend my knight's equipment to his friend. I only knew after the damage has been done. Eventually, we broke up and I was never able to retrieve them. Good thing Seis was gracious enough to lend me his elemental Claymores and Lances. Of course, I have my loving boyfriend to thank for boosting my leveling with his [powerful] Alchemist. Love you Carlo! ^^x

I'm glad I still have contact with Roman. I'll see if I can ask his permission to be my link to the lardass. Carlo and I don't like the idea of meeting the lardass face to face.

Lunate Circle

2006-07-23T16:45:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Lunette Reverie.

It's been exactly year since I've writen My First Post. Though I'm quite embarassed to admit, this blog was once named Rainbow Reverie. I had this picture in my head about a rainbow-colored alternative dimension everytime I listened to the remix version of Feel, a character song by Yuna of Final Fantasy X, performed by Aoki Mayuko [Yuna's Japanese voice-actress]. Rainbow Reverie became the name idea since whenever I had reveries, it feels I am plunged into a colorful world, soaring endlessly to everywhere.

My Zhou Xun himself is a reverie. I feel simply spirited whenever I'm with him. I remember the Spring. Such an enchanting moment.

How I wish it could happen. Kissing underwater with a crystalline desire.

When a lovebird dies, the one left behind... It just gives up living so it can join its mate.
-Tidus, Final Fantasy X

Starfire and Raven

2006-07-20T15:21:00.000+08:00

Twist pulled me yet again into another addiction: Comic Books.

Although I was expecting it to be another manga (Japanese comic books) title, I was surprised when he bought a copy of Teen Titans and Batman from Book Sale. I borrowed his copy of Teen Titans and was a tad disappointment when it was just a delineated version of the cartoon series from Cartoon Network. Believe me, I do love the series. I just expected the comic book version to be different.

Batman was no different from its contemporary animated series though. He was at his modern dark and gothic look, this time around accompanied by Batgirl. Both comic books were printed in the US so no doubt they were of fine quality. Just one pull-down though. Too many print advertisements. At the very least, print ads can be easily skipped unlike TV commercials.

I've watched Teen Titans from the day it was released on TV. I first thought that Robin was the only original character by DC Comics and that the other four- Starfire, Cyborg, Beast Boy and Raven -were all merely created for the sake of Robin having allies of his age. I can't believe how much I lacked research. DC Comics intentionally created a new series called The New Teen Titans. Its style of art is no different from its predecessors; mature and gory. Starfire's and Raven's original appearances were enamoring...

I prefer Raven's shadowed personality over Starfire's cheerful ego though the cartoon Starfire and the comic Starfire are characteristically different from how they look...

Doesn't matter! As long as Raven's the babelicious of them all!

Cinema Streak

2006-07-19T15:21:00.000+08:00

Last night, I had a nightmare, I dreamt Lunette Reverie was hacked by a corpulent hairy man with a black headset. Thank God I've forgotten about it the moment I regained consciousness.

Arice and I have a slightly similar idea! Go on a movie streak! Except of course I'll go with my Zhou Xun! Lucky he lets me choose what movie we're to watch though he chose the very first movie we've watched together; Memoirs of a Geisha. For the record, we've already seen the following movies in theatres: Tristan and Isolde, Silent Hill, Cars and See No Evil.

The very latter turned out to be a disappointment. The paradox is the lousier the film, the more impactful and convincing the tagline is. We expected a movie much bloodier and soul-recoiling than Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Turned out to be some movie showing a wrestler being a movie-star-wannabe. I may watch WWE but not submit to it. Nothing but an army of fakers.

Carlo and I are now having a non-temperal argument about what movie to watch next. Last Saturday, he was complaining why I wouldn't want to watch any. He badly wanted to watch The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. I answered that there was nothing good to watch. After all, I wouldn't want to resort to Superman Returns. For some reason, I no longer want highly commercialized goods. And about The Fast and the Furious, maybe I'll simply wait for the DVD to be available for rent from Video City!

Before Spiderman 3, this movie is what we've decided to watch next:

Lady in the Water

Summary (Taken from Wikipedia):
A modest building manager named Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti) rescues a mysterious young woman named Story (Bryce Dallas Howard) from danger and discovers she is actually a nymph, a character from a bedtime story who is trying to make the treacherous journey from our world back to hers. As a nymph, Story is responsible to make positive changes in the lives of those around her with the help of a human vessel. In Story's case, her vessel is none other than Cleveland Heep. Cleveland and his fellow tenants start to realize that they are also characters in this bedtime story. As Cleveland falls deeper and deeper in love with Story, he works together with the tenants to protect his new fragile friend from the deadly creatures that reside in this fable and are determined to prevent her from returning home.

How I longed to watch a film under the fantasy genre. Harry Potter films are great but only the first one, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's stone, actually is. The rest are merely rushed and unsubstantial versions of the books. Good thing I didn't waste money as well as the effort to pester Carlo to watch that movie with me. I simply rented a VCD copy from Video City.

This will be next after Lady in the Water:

Haha! From then on, Carlo will take me out every week!

I only knew now that James Franco played Harry Osborn. He also took the role of Tristan in Tristan and Isolde.

Different Desire

2006-07-13T16:25:00.000+08:00

Places I Want To Visit:

-Auckland, New Zealand (Imminent settlement)
-Queenstown, New Zealand

-Helsinki, Finland

-Copenhagen, Denmark

-Madrid, Spain
-Barcelona, Spain

-Venice, Italy
-Milan, Italy
-Rome, Italy

-Moscow, Russia

-Sydney, Australia
-Melbourne, Australia
-Adelaide, Australia

-Tokyo, Japan
-Fukuoka, Japan

-Forbidden Capital, China
-Hongkong

Magazine and Publications Dreamt of Working For:

-Xpert Gamer
-Game Master
-Electronic Gaming Monthly
-GamePro
-PlayStation Magazine

-For Him Magazine

-Cosmopolitan
-Seventeen

-Reader's Digest
-Newsweek
-Time Magazine
-K-Zone

Dream Jobs:

-Freelance Columnist
-Photojournalist
-Investigative Journalist
-Game Reviewer
-Novelist
-Literary Artist

-Event Photographer
-Landscape Photographer

-Criminologist

-Linguist/Text Translator
-Scriptwriter
-Film Writer

-Housewife
-Homemaker
-Hot Lover

Hello Other Half

2006-07-13T15:05:00.000+08:00

I'm so glad my gaming life has finally awakened from its long rehabilitation. Kingdom Hearts II is the perfect companion to begin a new era of PlayStation 2 gaming. I've left the game like a scattered memory, forever engraving its signifance in my gaming heart, just as Final Fantasy has done.

I find it enchanting that Sora has battled amidst the Heartless and Nobodies armed only with his Keyblade. Of course he couldn't have triumphed over Kimgdom Hearts and the Realm of Darkness without his friends, Donald and Goofy. No matter how comical those two are, they offer invaluable warfare help to Sora. Surprising how the makers of Kingdom Hearts manage to create their characters in such a balanced manner.

I've currently taken a short break from the game. A new game begets a new addiction. There's something about console gaming that is so psychologically "safe". No matter how much I become addicted to it, it never threatens to destroy my life. In fact it even serves as an inspiration emotionally and aesthetically. It was thanks to Final Fantasy X that I managed to compose such (beautiful) poetry.

There'd be one more episode to complete in Twilight Town before I can embark for The World That Never Was. Why could it have been never was? I, as Sora, am anticipating that I'll meet my alter-ego in that unventured world... My Nobody Roxas.

Nobodies like us are those who are only half a person.
-Namine, Kingdom Hearts II

Sora has Roxas. Kairi has Namine. Xehanort has Xemnas.

If I had a Nobody, who would it be? She'd be more like a little exaggeration of my personality and a little neutralized version. Her name might be Reika Lee. A Japanese name born from my authentic Chinese name, Li Lee Hua. I had a half-Japanese classmate who could speak and understand the language fluently. I wrote my name in Chinese on a piece of paper and asked him to read it in Japanese. I heard the very words Lee Reika come out of his mouth. I simply converted it to the first-name-first format. Say hello now to my other half.

How I wish there'd be such a place such as The World That Never Was. People considered it the realm of darkness. Darkness is the brother of peace, or so I believe...

Kingdom Hearts II

2006-06-29T18:23:00.000+08:00

A scattered dream that's like a far-off memory.
A far-off memory that's like and scattered dream.
I wanna line the pieces up-
Yours and mine...

Kingdom Hearts 2 is addictive. I can play the game an entire night without feeling sleepy as if I've been shut with Morphine. Apparently, games have a greater physical effect on me than coffee and stimulant drugs. Too bad I've finally programmed myself to prioritize school and take it sickly seriously. One day, I'll make a complete Reconaissance on the Organization XIII and beat the game TWICE! First time is made from bits of scratches and failures, the second time with a back-up walkthrough and thorough gaming experience of this Square-Enix masterpiece.

Voice Without Words

2006-06-23T17:44:00.000+08:00

Let's see... Twist and Shorty invited me to join FilCosplay and actually participate in one of their cosplaying events. Fun but I lack resources and accessories. It'd be very fun to dress up as Beatrix from FFIX or Yuna but their outfits demand hard-to-find material and custom made sewing patterns. Back in my RO days though, I've dreamt of dressing up as either a Knight or an Alchemist. But both choices are too...wild. Traditionally, a knight's armor would weigh at least 80kg. Chain mails are lighter yet are useless against sharp projectiles such as spears and arrows. Good thing Kuya Wine's a wide reader. He's a walking yet less substantial version of Wikipedia.

Though I prefer to be solitary, I'm also thankful I have pain relievers. They're called friends. Shorty and Migs are of the few deviants and friends I have. They make me feel human and socially accepted. To be born in a society where oddballs like us are discriminated is very frustrating. In fact we're even more prejudiced than homosexuals. They're far more annoying if you ask me.

I also have destiny to thank that my Zhou Xun too is a deviant. He thinks in ways out of conformity's orbit. I have him always by my side to make my woes his and his agony my own. He understands even without the use of questions and intrigue, not even words are needed. I cherish my Zhou Xun so much. He is the fragile fragment of my existence.

Gothic and Symphonic metal are my preference especially those lead by a female vocalist. Examples are Lacuna Coil, Nightwish and the local Saydie. Newcomers to my taste are Leaves' Eyes and Kittie. Might as well taste time samples!

Cliche says one must strike whilst the iron is hot, yet some things unlike iron need to to cool off first before being. Some people should never be treated like iron.

Jolly Jolly

2006-06-16T09:29:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry I didn't mean to melt her face off
I'm sorry I didn't mean to burn her hair
Sorry's all you can fuckin' say
All the tears that you cry will never bring her back
All the tears that you cry, now she's gone
You tore my doll apart
-Saydie, Vylet

Finally, I'm now a regular Journalism student. It's hard to believe I've spent my freshman year being in two courses I've never dreamt of taking up.

A-207 is a jolly bunch! Compared to those in Broadcasting, they're loud and quiet at the right places and times. Pretty much balanced. A bit of wild and a bit of conservative, a bit full of jokes and a bit full of sense. I'm very much relieved I'll be classmates with Neo and Tony. Two people whom are very conspicuous non-conformists, they think ans speak in ways defying from the norm.

They have introduced to me a new friend. His name's Alcon and he too is from Legal Studies. Insinuatingly, I judge people from how their names sound, and Alcon is a name I've only heard now. People with unlikely names somehow intrigue me... But of course my Zhou Xun is an exception!

Ironically though, the title of this post contradict with the verse above and the song it was taken from. Even so, Kathy Taylor's such a babe...

Pokemon

2006-06-06T14:47:00.000+08:00

Pokemon - Gotta Catch 'em All

I remember eight years ago; that was back in 1999. I was a very insane fanatic of the hit Japanese anime series Pokemon. Yet all things must come to and end. Less than a year later, I quit everything about Pokemon. The TV series, trading cards, action figures, even the GameBoy games. I finished the Blue version at least ten times (all with Charmander as the starting Pokemon) before I put my GameBoy Color aside.

Then just last night, Carlo texted me saying he was playing the Blue version of Pokemon again. Somehow, that brought back memories. even after eight years, I feel I want to play the game again. It's like Pokemon is calling back to me like a child calling for its mother.

Next on the item list will have to be a second-hand GameBoy Advance SP. Then I'll purchase Silver, FireRed and Ruby versions. Mostly I am curious with the Ruby version since it contains an entirely new roster of Pokemon to catch. I want to feel like a beginning Pokemon Trainer again... Imagination is a wonderful thing.

666

2006-06-06T10:54:00.000+08:00

June 6th, 2006 or simply 06/06/06

666 - Satan's number that was said to bring upon darkness and evil. I was once Satanophobic a long time ago yet I've learned to overcome that fear. But it has not evolved to satanism either. It never crossed my mind to become a Satan worshipper.

I understand how 13 can ever become an unlucky number. It is not a multiple of any number and for some reason no one can explain, this number is simply conspicuous when placed among other numbers. I'm not Triskadekaphobic* in the first place. But how could 666 be the devil's number? Why hadn't bothered to read the Bible? I'm not an AntiChrist yet I just never bothered...

*Triskadekaphobic - Fear of the number 13

Here are my other phobias just for those readers to know:
Insectophobia - fear of insects
Arachnophobia - fear of spiders
Arithomophobia - fear of numbers (I hate Math!)
Hemophobia - fear of blood
Necrophobia - fear of death and corpses
Homophobia - fear of homosexuals

Lastly, I don't fear gay men. I just despise them especially those crossdressing freaks. But I'm fine with lesbians though. I wouldn't be a fan of t.A.T.u. in the first place.

My cousin Trissa once said that if a date when its corresponding numbers are all the same comes e.g. 1/1/01, 2/2/02, 3/3/03 and so on and on and on, it's the pefect opportunity to make a wish. Yet the wishes should still be likely and possible to your circumstances. But since today is the devil's day, how about I have my wishes a little more...special? I wish all the beings I have loathed and abhored will perish from this world for eternity.

These are the people whom I'd very much want to die:
-My traitorous classmate who stole my Nokia 3350 back in 4th year High School
-The low-life who pickpocketed my treasured Nokia 3120
-My pennyless bastard of a classmate who lost my Motorola phone and still refused to pay
-*People below the poverty line who choose mendicancy over labor
-Corrupt politicians of the Philippines
-Everyone in Level Up! Games Inc. Greedy malcontent pigs
-Every mugger, street thug, pickpocket and low-life
-Britney Spears and Hillary Duff

How I wish my fucked up ex-boyfriend Sonny would die as well. It's also to avenge his other ex-girlfriends that he merely played with and made cock-and-bull stories out of. I'm sorry I thought radically ill of you, Myka, even if I hadn't actually known you. Fatefully, I hope you read this.

*About these people below the poverty line, Seis once said a very rational statement about them.
"These poor people! They already know they're poor yet what do they still do? Fuck and make more children!"

Happy Birthday

2006-06-03T15:01:00.000+08:00

Life is but a passing dream, but the death that follows is eternal.

I know this is late but I have to post about my 18th birthday! And maybe write my very first June entry to date! Just this one last month and Lunette Reverie will finally be a year old! Advanced Happy Birthday, Lunette! ^^

May 27th, 2006. Eighteen years after May 27th, 1988. That day was my 18th birthday. My transcendance to adulthood. Now I am open to more rights and capabilities. I'm now at the legal age to drink, drive, read FHM and watch R-18 films!

Basically I didn't know how it exactly feels to finally grow into an adult. Right now even after a week has passed, I still feel like a teenager. Hell I never felt like a teenager. I never felt like an immature kid either. All I felt was myself. I never knew what defined a teenager since I was hradly updated in trends. I am a non-conformist and a proud defiant after all. The bandwagon is as bloody as an executioner's axe.

The venue of my birthday was at Dang Maria's. It was sad that none of my friends could come. They were held up by personal problems but I can't blame them either way. I could still enjoy the party even without their physical company. Greetings are enough.

Finally, I had my eighteen roses and had all the wishes I could have. Thanks. They will help tremendously but my fate is still in my own hands.

I opened one of the gifts and was surprised to see a Digicam. Wow. Pops actually took my request seriously when I only asked him jokingly a few days before my birthday. Mom told me to ask for something useful. A necessity. Originally I had a GameBoy Advance SP in mind. Yet since I'm aware that Pops is working hard, even too hard for us, I don't even bother to reciprocate with good grades or a god behavior at least. Now the least damaging I can do for him is ask for something useful. Something that will aid in my career as a journalist. A digital camera.

That very night I promised Pops that one day I will become editor-in-chief or at least a high ranking icon in a newspaper company and become a known journalist then eventually a novelist. I've been hording so many story ideas in my mind and my best friend the notebook. Wanna know what's inside? 20 years from now! I'm not a fan of spoilers!

I guess it's time I introduce my pen to its brother, the digital camera. Together, we shall create astounding articles...

My birthday party ended happily and tearfully. It was hard to believe this day ended as quickly as it had begun. Yet I have no regrets. There was nothing to cry of in the first place.

A week-late happy birthday to me.

Thoughts

2006-05-23T15:30:00.000+08:00

You show me how to see
That nothing is whole and nothing is broken

It's almost been month since I arrived here in Puerto and I still have written nothing.

It's good news I'll still be studying in Lyceum for the second year. I have to prioritize my shifting to Journalism and enrollment though finding a convenient block section is one fat chance. I learned my lesson of not being a time and section hopper during my second sem coz previously, my sched was what any organized dude would call "fucked up".

Leaving Puerto might be one hard thing to undergo. Well goodbyes are never easy to undergo especially to your family and your provincial hometown. At least my reunion with my beloved boyfriend is more than enough to compensate! I love my Zhou Xun soooo much!

I was surprised when my sister Christine and her boyfriend Jaychris were still playing pRO even when the game's FUBAR [Fucked Up Beyond All Reconsideration] now that it's bot-infested. It's like it had online AIDS where the sickness only gets worse as it lasts and it can never perish. It was a smart choice that I quit the game a year ago yet I could still vividly remember my darkened days of addiction...

That dream still haunts me somehow...

In you and I there's a new land
Angels in flight
My sanctuary, my sanctuary
Where fears and lies melt away
Music will tie
What's left of me
What's left of me now
-Utada Hikaru, Sanctuary

This is My Dream

2006-05-20T10:36:00.000+08:00

Last night, I had a dream. A dream so vivid that I felt it happened for real...

I was killed along with other friends who play Ragnarok Online regularly at a shop by two hackers in attempt to hack those peoples' accounts. To my sudden shock, one of them turned out to be Alva, that friend of mine who plays the drums and even taught me to play them. Yet since it was but a dream, a hazy living, I never registered the fact that he was a good friend of mine and thought of him as a maniacal killer.

Alva attacked me with a knife in his right hand and lunged it right at my heart. I coudn't evade the knife. I couldn't evade death... I lay there helpless and unconscious. Then I awake, with only solitude and the eery whisper of death to accompany me afterwards. There were cadavers scattered all over the shop, some of the PC's left turned on by their murdered users. I saw no other waking spirit from the bodies.

I was alone...

Yet I couldn't stay here to mourn. I had to find my killers and avenge my friends. Damn them for committing this crime in exchange for benefit in a measley online game!

I hear the door creek. Someone was entering the shop. It was those two murders. My traitor friend Alva. It was only in that moment that I felt both hate and revenge resonate powerfully within me. How I wanted to grab the same knife that took my life and give them their own demise. I reached for the knife but my hand just slipped past the handle. How can this be? I observed that traitorous bastard from behind. He was typing something. It seems he could not sense my presence. Quickly, I walked past his corporeal body with my spiritual one and went for the keyboard and typed these messages that will eternally haunt him.

How dare you take my life and those of my friends?! One day you'll rot in hell.

Strange... I could speak of revenge but not commit it. Why is it so...?

I cannot write all my confessions
But alone with myself, I can't remind my past
This is my dream...
-Lacuna Coil, This Is My Dream

From Anything to Nothing

2006-05-13T14:31:00.000+08:00

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

God, I really am blessed that you have granted my guardian to me. I'm really very happy with him compared to the nine tedious and heart-wrenching months I've had with Sonny. Carlo and I had more dates and outings in a span of two months compared to the nine months I've had with the bastard.

A week ago I've finally had a ticket to fly back home here in Puerto Princesa. Manila living sure is more demanding than a greedy tyrant over a medieval country. At least here there is virtually no traffic and the air's fresh wherever you go.

Damn... I have a lot to say but they all spiral to nothing.

Cruelly Sexy

2006-04-28T17:22:00.000+08:00

Cruel! You are angry at everything for no reason. Men love the aggression and often find it kinky. You turn your partner on and have hom in his knees.

What Kind Of Sexy Are You?

Felicity

2006-04-19T16:53:00.000+08:00

And I'm so sad
Like a good book
I can't put this this day back
A sorta fairytale with you
A sorta fairytale with you
-Tori Amos, A Sorta Fairytale

Tomorrow we go out on another date! I love you so much my Zhou Xun! It's V For Vendetta tomorrow! Weeee!

Earlier I had to come back to Ninang's shop here in Pasay after they had to drop Tita Cherry at NAIA for work. I've always been the felicious escape artist. place me in one quandary or practical dilemma and I can work my way out of it either luckily or skillfully. I never knew how to get back home from the airport. What I did is I took a bus going to Baclaran, got off near the domestic airport and took the LRT back here. The same thing happened when we were assigned to attend that seminar in UP Diliman. And in the first place I never had an idea how to get there. Felicity is an omen I guess...

I guess I can also thank felicity for having me pass all subjects during the second semester even whe I wasn't really supposed to pass two of them. But hey, I never committed any mortal sin such as hijacking the faculty room, sneaking out my test paper, take out a cheat sheet and change the answers. Haha!

But then my greatest blessing will have to be my beloved boyfriend! Euphoria just has to mess my way of thinking and my daydreams whenever I think of him...

Migs: Oh man. I'm in deep shit today. I think I'm gonna fail English. And it's the one subject I'm NOT supposed to fail!
Jiea: Ditto. I think I'm gonna flunk Rizal anytime soon. I never really bothered to study for that subject.
Migs: Oohh! Rizal! Now that's one subject I'm acing right now!
Jiea: Really. I never knew you were this interested and diligent in a subject so dull.
Migs: 'Yan ang kapangyarihan ng kodigo.

To Be Misunderstood and Left Alone

2006-04-18T17:22:00.000+08:00

April has got to be the most dormant month for this blog. It's been more than two weeks since I last posted something. Basically I just don't know what to write about. Many things materialize at once in my head but I just can't seem to channel these ideas into one entity.

Lately I've been gearing more bad comments from kinsmen. Yeah, I've already gotten used to being misunderstood and being notorious around the family. The point is why can't they just leave me alone, leave me the way I am? Whenever something happens to me because of my doing, I will freely admit my own fault and suffer with it. Deregatory comments don't help at all.

The news about me and my boyfriend going home late at twelve midnight spread around the family like some juicy celebrity secret. What's joyous is that they're now labeling me a bad influence to my other cousins particularly Raphael whom I now consider a very close brother. I'm thankful to Raphael that he tries to clarify my stand to our parental relatives. Not that I don't appreciate what he's doing for me but he's just fighting a losing battle. Parents are never meant to listen and understand that's why I believe it's best when I'm just left alone.

I remember the day I got my result from that test in Quizilla. It was the 'What Kind of Power Should You Have' quiz. I got the power of element control. Though the quizmakers in Quizilla aren't exactly qualified psychologists, some of their quizzes actually contain a deep amount of senses. The answers aren't only psychological but more on deeply spiritual.

I read my result over and over again and all I could mutter was "Wow...". It was amazingly accurate. People superficially think I'm mentally ill and ballistic. I don't know if it pays to be misunderstood...

Soul Searching

2006-04-06T16:49:00.000+08:00

You Should Be a Film Writer

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind.You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life.Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling.And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

You Are 88% Open Minded

You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out!Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand.You don't have a judgemental bone in your body, and you're very accepting.You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

You Are 58% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

You Are 11 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

So you go for miles and miles

Destination nowhere, no means or how

So you go for miles and miles

Soul searching

Soul searching tonight

-Urbandub, Soul Searching

Abhored Subjects

2006-04-06T16:04:00.000+08:00

I don't believe this. I can't believe the relief and euphoria I've had after seeing my grade report has already vaporized just as soon as I laid eyes on it. Yeah, I was ecstatic that I never failed a subject yet I was also ashamed, or should I say dishonored that I don't really deserve to pass some of them namely Rizal and NSTP. Frankly I never gave a damn about those two subjects.

Rizal, if I have to argue with my valued life, is the dullest and most useless subject ever implemented in the Philippine educational system. Just what the fuck has Rizal's life have anything to do with my journalistic career? The one evil feature is that we get to sit in the classroom for an hour and a half feeling drugged due to boredom being lectured about the travels of Rizal all of which have little relevancy to real life. I don't know why I miraculously passed that subject since I never cooperated in the filming of Rizal's early life and to think that I did badly in the Final exam. A 3.00 would have been less surprising but a 2.50? Now that's arguable.

NSTP is twice the bullshit as Rizal. It's like we paid for three units just to sit in the classroom doing basically nothing for three damned hours. Community services were grueling as well. It's not my idea to be ready at five in the morning and volunteer (Why should it be called 'volunteer' when we're FORCED to do it in the first place?) to help sweep the streets and give food to street children. Not that I never want to be a goody two-shoes nor an apathetic bitch but those street pests are just so damn ungrateful. Give them some and they'll ask for more. Don't give them more and they'll yell all sorts of street profanity at you. I speak as if I know of the community services when I never attended a single session during the entire semester.

International Relations was an absurd decision in the first place. It's time I admit I was only kidding myself of wanting this course. It's time I step back unto my intended destiny. I'll have to die for it if I have to.

Time to step back to Journalism...

Just what does Rizal have anything to do with airplanes?
-Seis, Avionics Technology Graduate

Just what does Rizal have anything to do with Journalism?

Lyceum Grade Report

2006-04-06T15:36:00.000+08:00

Lyceum of the Philippines University
Grade Report

FILN12A - Pagbasa at Pagsulat sa Iba't-ibang Disiplina - 2.75 - Passed
NSTP 2 - National Service Training Program 2 - Passed
JPLN10A - Jose P. Laurel Life and His Works - 2.75 - Passed
SSCN11A - Sociology/Anthropology - 3.00 - Passed
ENGN11A - Study and Thinking Skills in English
MATN13A - Business Math - 2.75 - Passed
PERN02A - Rhythmic Activities - 2.25 - Passed
SSCN12A - Rizal Course - 2.50 - Passed

Hah! And the entire week I was very hypochondriac to a cardiac arrest thinking that I was gonna fail around three subjects! And here I am passing with (flying) colors! Now to write a brief explanation to each subject.

FILN12A - I was never really interested in this subject and I never bothered to submit my utmost effort even to get a good grade. It has been my philosophy that subjects I hardly have an interest in should be only trifled with or just be taken easily, and one of them is Filipino.

NSTP 2 - Miraculous that I pass this since I never attended a community service project. I was even threatened to flunk a week before the final exams!

JPLN10A - At least a few steps more interesting than Rizal. The only topic in this subject that kept me awake is the ethereal importance of love and sacrifice for one's country. And to boot, JPL's life is more interesting than Rizal's and perosnally, I believe he is a much greater person than our own national hero.

SSCN11A - A highly interesting subject on my part yet I was too delinquent on assignments and reports. Haha!

ENGN11A - Since Mrs. Martinez had just given birth last week, the final grades still haven't been encoded yet this is one subject I NEVER have to worry about in my entire life!

MATN13A - Oh. My. God. This is even a more impossible miracle! But I just happen to make the impossible possible!

PERN02A - I'm glad I did well in the final exam...

SSCN12A - Should I even talk about this? This is one extremely dull and prosaic subject. Just who gives a fuck about some national hero who's actually not that great?

Then again, I'm gonna shift back to Journalism come the enrollment for the next sem. I feel that's where I really belong. It's time to carve destiny out of reality!

Desire

2006-04-05T14:58:00.000+08:00

Maybe Lenne felt the same way.
The man she loved, he struggled to save her.
He fought 'til his very last breath for her.
I think that Lenne's final words might have been happy ones.
"I love you."
-Paine, Final Fantasy X-2

Now I finally understand
The meaning of the promise
We exchanged that day
I look up at a fleeting shooting star
Shining in the distant sky and smile
-Aoki Mayuko (Yuna), Morning Glow (Final Fantasy X-2 Vocal Collection)

Entwined together now
It's time to pass it over
Entwined together now
Entwined forever
-Lacuna Coil, Entwined

I have you in my dreams at night
You were holding my hands
Then I awake and you're not mine
Now it's time to rise

I want to turn cold ice in my soul
Got to freeze this yearning inside
-Lacuna Coil, Reverie

We've never been apart
The day has come
I'm feeling that your sun
Shines away from me
-Lacuna Coil, Distant Sun

I need to be with you... My Zhou Xun...

My Zhou Xun

2006-03-30T15:52:00.000+08:00

I've always been telling myself to finally write about this. Why can't I just finally drive myself to begin? It's not only because beginning is the hardest thing to do just as the hardest part in the book to write is page one. There is something else... I can't seem to levitate these glassy fragments of thoughts and materialize them together into one crystal entity.

Just why the fuck am I so erratically poetic today? Now there goes profanity. Maybe this is what happens to me when I'm in love, but being in love with my Zhou Xun is worth all this confoundedness. And all this time he has been waiting for me... How could I've been so cold and heartless?

Wah! I can't write in a straight and organized manner! Well I normally write erratically but why at this very intense degree?! Zhou Xun, please put my mind back together in their right places! What ever have you done to me?!

But surprisingly, I like this paranoia! Weeeeee!!

Here's the poem I wrote for him more than a year ago:

G - ive me a good reason why
I - should give this angel a chance
A - new page torn from a book begins to fly
N - ew era gives birth to romance

C - an you see it, taste it, touch it, feel it?
A - rise in the heavens is a gleaming sphere it flies
R - isen to shine among a dark lifeless land
L - evitating souls with spirits lit
O - pened eyes to distant skies is where the heart will understand

And here's the one he requested for me:

One time she asked me what I love about her. I answered "EWAN". Well I really don't know, but now I guess I've found the reasons why I love you so.

These are the things I love about you:

Your eyes
Which first held me captivated
Where I stood

Your smile
To dazzle the sun
And warm every corner of my soul

Your voice
Like a sparkling mountain stream
Which has flown into my heart

Your walk
And the way your gracefulnes
Takes my breath away

Your hair
About which I dreamt
Cascading into my face
As you leaned over me

Your hands
Whose caress I crave
To hold my face
In their tenderness

Your arms
I long to have around my neck
As you pull me close
To your warmth

Most of all
Everything you are
Changed the way I felt about my life

Wo Ai Ni Lady Jiea

Wo Ie Ai Ni Zhou Xun ^^

Lovelorn

2006-03-29T14:53:00.000+08:00

Lovelorn
Leaves' Eyes

You are a wandering shining star
You light up the sky, you take me so far
Take me far
One crystal inside my lonely heart
You light up my life, I embrace your light
You're my light

You're my healer, I am lovelorn
In the cool breeze, I hear your sweet voice
I'm your treasure, I am forlorn
In the rain, I feel your warm tears

I can't forgive God and myself
I should have been there to give you strength
Be your strength
One kingdom below the dark blue sea
Hides my lovely Amelie
I love you Amelie

All In The Mind

2006-03-21T11:32:00.000+08:00

What you are now is all in the mind

Wish I could believe that, or I wish I could channel enoguh chakra (inner strength) to actually believe that. Kuya Irvin once told me not to worry too much and just relax. Everything that happens, good or bad, is only as good or as bad as how we think it is. Problem is I can't seem to drive myself to think positively. Negativity and depression swamp me entirely. I can't think, I can't focus, I can't concentrate. And it worsens now that it's the Final Exam week.

Jeffrey told me to always look on the positive side. Thinking of bad thoughts can lead me to ridiculous and even unrealistic conclusions. I'm trying ok? I'm trying. You think it's easy?

Passion

2006-03-15T16:36:00.000+08:00

For so many years have ceased
And so has been apathetic this heart of mine
For so many tears have failed to appease
And once again this heart entwines

Reborn. That's what my heart is now.

Wow. I have so many to write about but I don't know what or how to start! Arice is right. The hardest part to write in any literary piece is always page one. No wonder I have left so many pending stories unwritten. I don't want to begin with page one.

All this time I never knew Carlo was waiting for me. Even after what I did to him more than a year ago. I can remember. It was January of 2005. Should I even write about it?

Maybe I better write this piece next time or in my very personal journal. Haha... All this is more than a miracle.

If I recall, far far away
The future was shining on everywhere
Beneath the beautiful blue sky
We were just a little afraid

If we advance forth, can we ever meet again?
The future goes on to everywhere
Beneath the large signboard
I want to keep watching the eras changing
-Utada Hikaru, Passion

A Knight Unarmored

2006-03-14T12:29:00.000+08:00

A Knight Unarmored
March 14, 2006
One of my few random poems

There was once a knight
And alone she was or ever
As she knew no friends, no comrades
Nor a lover
Yet she did have one that
Have not the others
A metallic heart like no other

She did have a sword to slash
A shield to defend, to stop a clash
And a spear to brandish
She wore her armor dignified and strong
Yet deep inside she's crippled and famished

Bellicose she is in the battlefield
Yet fearful deep in soul and heart
No wounds bleed on her white skin
But freely it flows from
A heart that's broken
And broken it will
Forever be

Outside she was strong, fierce
Invulnerable, yet inside she is
Weak, powerless and crying
Though from her skin no blood flows
Colorless blood gushes from her eyes
They are tears...
And how they hurt for
Blood is pain
Tears are agony

Element Control

2006-03-14T12:19:00.001+08:00

Your power is: Being a controller of an element

Explanation: Whether it is earth, fire,
air or water or even all of them, you can
control that element. That means you can
manipulate their physical form and with just
thoughts and make an inferno for example. In
good purposes it can be used to protect but
in evil purposes it is used to hurt.
As a person you are slightly 'odd'. People see
you as different and probably has prejudices
against you. They see you as 'weird' or the
'freak', and either that hurts really much or
you chose to ignore it. You keep your hatred
for people inside and probably daydream about
killing them, which gives you satisfaction.
Truth is you are not evil, only
missunderstood and mistreated.
Negative aspects: Since you have deep
problems inside you could get into some sort
of mental illness or simply get depressed (if
you aren't already).

Nowhere

2006-03-10T13:22:00.000+08:00

Damn it. I am so bummed and used up. I'm probably gonna fail Rizal and NSTP for this semester. Might as well atone for these failures by taking them up next year and actually paying for those six wasted units. To comfort myself mentally, at least I didn't practically waste away a year's worth of tuition fee. I have a classmate who's been a college freshman for four years now! Currently he's in Accountancy and the last three years he spent them on BS Math, Nursing and the other one I've forgotten. Kaku spent one year in UST with Literature and is back to square one here in Lyceum. My dream course... Arice is still in college and she's already 23 years old.

Another stupid mistake I've made is actually shifting to International Relations (formerly Foreign Service) major in Diplomacy though signing up for Broadcasting is an even more absurd decision in the first place. Maybe I was just fooling around with myself when I said I'm actually interested in politics. Well it is an intriguing subject but it doesn't automatically mean I'll devote my imminent career and education to that field! God! Shift me back to Journalism! It's the only course in school where I can breathe properly! And Chino also advised me to follow my heart, chase it to wear it runs no matter how wide and endless the horizon becomes.

I was actually amazed when Arice did her journalistic assignment whe she was assigned to cover the Mr. and Mrs. Lyceum event last friday. With a digital camera hanging around her neck and a pen and paper in one hand, amazing! That time I was slapped by my conscience to actually make up my mind on what I really want, and I want Journalism though I would have preferred Literature anytime. Might as well shift back next year. Just why do I have to be so fucked up?

To Myself I Turned

2006-03-08T09:33:00.000+08:00

I was talked to when I wanted to be listened to.
I was advised when I needed to be understood.

This morning Angkong finally flew back to Palawan. It was a nice yet raspy visit for Angkong's advice can get boring and repetitive but I cannot argue that they are dull. 72 years worth of life is unfathomable wisdom. Last night he said that I was only in kindergarten stage in the school of life whilst he's already a graduate. Pops is around the high school level.

Damn it. Adults think they know everything. They immediately advice without fully understanding what really is going on. It's always the same old story. Every time I want to say something, I'm automatically asked to sit down and listen and I can't even interrupt and if I do, I'm labeled a disrespectful kid. That's why I'd rather not mess with adult business or anyone else's. They'd never understand anyway. Not even my own parents or sisters. Not even my family. No one understands me. No one does.

I have my own ideals and philosophy. Why do they try to change that? People are despicable creatures that's why I'd rather not conform to their absurd beliefs and ideologies. I am my own person and I don't want anyone messing with me.

I was born in another world
Strictly connected to a piece of my mind
Nothing more than a little land
It is a small cradle when I'm a kid

I am the princess in there
Nothing wrong in my fantasy world
I am the king, the nation
No dictators or religions

No laws laid for for me
I have my own liberty inside of me
Nothing to lose, I want to live here

As you see, I'm the only survivor in this land
-Lacuna Coil, To Myself I Turned

Wish Upon A Wishlist

2006-03-07T09:46:00.000+08:00

Most Wanted Albums:

Karmacode - Lacuna Coil
Unleashed Memories - Lacuna Coil
Halflife and the EPs - Lacuna Coil
Underworld: Evolution Original Soundtrack
Once - Nightwish
Century Child - Nightwish
Oceanborn - Nightwish
In Love And Death - The Used
Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge - My Chemical Romance
Discovering The Waterfront - Silverstein
Second Stage Turbine Blade - Coheed and Cambria
In Keeping Secrets Of Silent Earth - Coheed and Cambria
Where You Want To Be - Taking Back Sunday
Tales of a Librarian - Tori Amos
Waking Hour - Vienna Teng
Final Fantasy X Original Soundtrack
Final Fantasy X Piano Collections
Final Fantasy X-2 Vocal Collections
Influence - Urbandub
The Infatuation Is Always There - Typecast
Saydie - Saydie

Most Wanted Games:

Kingdom Hearts II - Square-Enix
Final Fantasy XII - Square-Enix
Devil May Cry III: Dante's Awakening - Capcom
Metal Gear 3: Snake Eater - Konami
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas - Rockstar
Star Ocean: Till The End Of Time - Square-Enix
Makai Kingdom - Cero
Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness - Eidos

Seeing in Black

2006-03-03T13:53:00.000+08:00

Your eyes behold darkness.
You love the darkness and the feeling that it gives
you when you're outside at night under a full
or new moon. There's absolutely nothing like
it.

When someone looks into your eyes they see the moon
and the stars.

What do your eyes behold? {Beautiful pictures in results.}
brought to you by Quizilla

Spiral Into One

2006-03-03T10:56:00.000+08:00

It's March again.

Supposed to have Filipino2 classes today but I'm 30 minutes late. Even if I do enter the classroom, I'll still be marked absent since I was already 30 minutes late. But at least in college, it's not as hectic and you can actually plot your own schedule. Until now I still can't believe I survived ten damn years of elementary and high school. Ten hours a day from Monday to Friday. Now ain't that nice for a kid?

This week we celebrate Lyceum of the Philippines University's (Right! We're a university now!) 54th Foundation Week. There are food booths and stalls selling accessories outside! I'd rather have fun or sit in front of the TV with no one but my best friend my PlayStation 2 and just toil away with Devil May Cry 3 or Metal Gear: Snake Eater. Tonight there's the Search for Mr. and Mrs. Lyceum and Kaku's a candidate! Haha! Can't wait to see him topless with only bikini briefs on! I'm not perverted!

So far I'm enjoying In a Reverie, Lacuna Coil's first album and Identity Four (ID4), the two CDs Tito Mike bought me from Moscow, Russia. Goth Metal is a siren's voice played by a demonic orchestra. Though not essentially evil or satanic, it somehow delivers a dark message both emotionally and spiritually to the listeners. It is of their influence I now act and think like a Goth though I don't normally dress like one (e.g. All Black with silver spiked jewelry)

Why can't I write just about one topic? But I can spiral a dozen topics into one entry.

Contorted Journey

2006-02-28T09:46:00.000+08:00

I'll do anything you want

But hold me forever

Be a nightmare in my sleep

Scare me forever

Like a bullet in my soul

Kill me forever

All the lies I have sold to you

Are sour thorns in my mouth

-Lacuna Coil, Honeymoon Suite

Will I give that much for him? My beloved knight?

Finally! I have those 2 CDs Tito Mike sent me for Christmas! And to think he ordered them all the way from Moscow, Russia. Thanks Tito Mike. Too bad I can't give a long-distance thank you properly.

Until now I still think of him but someone has come to contort those emotions. Should I let this shadow descend and pilfer these feelings? Must I? If I let him then at least this knight will no longer haunt me and put tears in my eyes. But to be in love with a shadow I don't even completely know....

It Vexes Me

2006-02-15T16:30:00.000+08:00

Things That Annoy Me or I Even Hate.

1. Broadcasting Students.
2. Transferees from the Big Four (UP Diliman, Ateneo De Manila, De La Salle and UST) who boast of their former alma mater.
3. Conformists
4. Beggars and Street Children
5. Women
6. Guys who play Counter Strike and DotA that freak out like they've won the jackpot.
7. Posers and Pop Artists
8. Nursing students who joined the bandwagon relying on instant wealth
9. Religious Hypocrites
10. Botters in pRO
11. The Philippines
12. My fucked up bastard of an ex-boyfriend

Annotation:

1. These pests aren't only insanely talkative but insane attention grabbers. They sure fit the course perfectly since most of them are nothing but gossipers and lovers of intrigue. Crap. they're better off in showbiz.

2. "Buti pa sa UST mahihigpit mga teachers sa assignments!", "Sa UP talagang matira matibay!" WTF?! Get the hell over it already! They're in Lyceum now! It felt great when I once shut this asshole's mouth after bragging about how high-class it is in De La Salle.

3. People who have no originality and vitiate their individuality. All they do is go with the flow and end up where the flow goes - downhill.

4. It can get annoying when they beg for money. Blame it on their neglecful parents.

5. Wide topic. First and foremost, women are naturally chismosas.

6. They think they're cool when they're just making fools out of themselves in public.

7. Especially Hillary Duff. That bitch thinks she's punk when she's actually prep since she dated Greenday's drummer.

8. Nursing is now labeled the course of the nation since it offers massively large salaries abroad. Why won't these people get a life?! There's more to living than money!

9. "I for one know many religious people who are assholes." -Cristina Scabbia, lead vocalist of Lacuna Coil.

10. Though I have to admit botters are now a mandatory fragment of pRO, I still hate it when they brag of their achievements.

11. Read We Live in Anomalies.

12. God. This would take pages and ages to elaborate.

Lurid Lover

2006-02-08T13:50:00.000+08:00

Lurid Lover
Written by Jiea Dee, finished on January 20th, 2006
Falling in love with a ghost...

Given of life amidst a lifeless prosaic
Dominated by death, discontent and dislike
Jubilance, joy, euphoria were in shadow
Unfathomed too were wounds and sorrow

Anon I espied an esoteric resonance
Whence lofty ethereals of your provenance
Materializing before me a crystal clairvoyance
Descend you have, vanquishing all nonchalance

From vespers black you have arise
My lost soul, your one touch sanctifies
Here now I met a wingless angel
A ghost humane at loss and fragile

I feel my hands in yours pellucid
Reciprocate I lament in your demise
Serene’s your face, your eyes so placid
You knew no agony, I knew no lies

Within your arms a warm lacuna
Caress my face, cold tears I cry
A fallen Nike, a desecrated Athena
Let this not be a promise awry

An apparition and benevolence
An unlikely coalescence…

Your presence weaken, I gasp in disbelief
But still you smiled, vitiating this grief
You wiped my tears from my artesian of pain
And promised amidst apathy your love remain

I behold your ghastly eyes so metallic
Atrophy it has cast upon my entity
Drowning me in blackness so melancholic
It scourges as if I’ve perished from reality

My heart it bleeds as you evanesce
Leaving behind nothing but sadness
And as you fade with a dying luster
I pray you’ll hear my voiceless whisper

Can our love be ever born anew?
You vowed to me and yet, how could you?
My life undone, I see in saccades
Submitting my soul himself to Hades

Still I mistrust that the one I loved most
Exists as nothing but a lifeless ghost
Yet still I pray when returns his rapture
He’ll set me free from this inhumane torture
You left with me a touch, a shiver
Eternally you’ll be my lurid lover…

This is how it felt...
When I've fallen in love with him...
My beloved knight...

Vampiric Wind

2006-02-06T15:48:00.000+08:00

Vampire of Pain
You are a tortured soul.
Don't cut yourself anymore.
Enjoy what you have in life, even if you think it's not much.
You are surrounded by people who care for you, and
they would be devasted if something awful were to happen to you.

Which Vampire Are You? (Beautiful Pics & 7 Results)
brought to you by Quizilla

Again another accurate result from a Quizilla. They may not see it but it bleeds deep within...

Your element is air or wind. You believe you can
talk to the wind and who knows maybe you can.
Everytime you talk to it, it seems to answer
back. Your a free spirit and hate being
trapped in one place. If you had wings you
would be soaring above all of us without a
care in the world.

What element are you? (cool pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

The Wind again...

We Live in Anomalies

2006-02-06T11:41:00.000+08:00

Democracy - Government of(f) the people, b(u)y the people and fo(ol)r the people
Hence Filipinos live in Democrazy
-Rodrigo Costales, my professor in Sociology and Anthropolgy

*Topic idea taken from Mekhet's The High Cost Of Living. Thanks bud!*

Last Saturday there was a stampede in Pasig due to the commotion caused by the crowd of ABS-CBN's Wowowee. It was in the news. Even their rival station GMA had to butt in and complicate things saying that it was ABS's fault in the first place. Screw this country for being the cradle of crab mentality...

All that pandemonium for money?

Only in the Philippines
-where people are more concerned about showbiz than political affairs
-where money talks the loudest
-where it's not WHAT you know, it's WHOM you know
-where the thieves are actually those rich and educated
-where people go festive when seen in a camera even if a tidal wave has just passed
-where everything is exaggerated especially love songs and advertisements
-where everything is just fucked up...

I'm gonna migrate to New Zealand once I graduate. I'm going nowhere here.

When School is Mortal Hell

2006-02-04T12:26:00.000+08:00

Maybe I might as well copy Seis's themes and write about events. I mostly write about insights and unfathomable opinions.

Midterm exams are bound next week. Crap. Since I missed the Prelims a month ago, I better give my maximum effort for this. It's the only way I can turn the tables of my presently pitiful grades due to my delinquent Prelims.

Fuck Rizal and NSTP (National Service Training Program)! Why do we even have to spend for three units to study about the personal life of some not-that-great national hero and spend another three units wherein we sit in the classroom doing basically nothing for three damned hours?! All the prof does is check the attendance then leave the reports and explanations to the students. It'll be frugal if I spend that three hours studying Sociology or writing poems and stories but with the heat and and the chronic talks of my classmates, I'm left with no other choice but sit in the classroom like I'm drugged. Crap!

What was Linkin Park thinking when they collaborated with Jay-Z?! Mixing Rock with Rap is like me signing up for an Engineering course. Right now as I write this in the shop, Jay-Z's annoying rapping is destroying the solidity of Linkin Park's One Step Closer. If I can't stop myself, I'm gonna destroy that player with my bare hands. I hate Rap. Too materialistic and shallow lyrics.

And I hate Math too... But at least Business Math is quite enjoyable and a hundred times more useful compared to Algebra. That's another accursed subject. This is one of the VERY reasons why I took up Foreign Service! To avoid MATH! I'm done with College Algebra. Now it's Business Math then next sem it's Statistics. Just one more sem and I'm free... Relinquished!

"Broken"

2006-02-02T11:50:00.000+08:00

"Broken... That's what I've become of since I lost Pau..."
-Roman, a friend of mine

Yesterday, Roman invited me to hang out at his place for a while and sing along whilst he strums his guitar. I accepted since I had nothing else better to do (but be lazy and skip assignments and projects) anyway. But hey, I still find it hard to believe I'm friends with my ex-boyfriend's best friend! Haha.

It was quite a long trip to Roman's new place in Quezon City and the worse part is we had to ride an FX Jeep (Those Tamaraw FX's that are somewhat like air-conditioned PUVs). Crap. I have an enormous weakness against motion sickness! I spent half the trip leaning on Roman's shoulder feeling drugged. No malicious intimacy involved. There's nothing wrong with a girl leaning on her good guy friend's shoulder. 'Tis but humanely social to do such thing.

We arrived at Roman's place and listened to Nightwish (I brought it) and My Chemical Romance. Roman and I both cursed those amateurs who defined MCR as punk-emo. Hee, Roman even showed the finger to Myx (somewhat a local MTV) for categorizing Greenday under Popmyx and Simple Plan under Rockmyx. The hell?! Greenday?! Pop?! What absurdity! And I have no good reason to place Simple Plan within the circle of rock music! they're more coated with Pop. And I. Hate. Pop!

My Chemical Romance is easily defined as Heavy Emo. Unlike Dashboard Confessional which is composed mainly of light accoustics, MCR is emphasized on the weight of guitars and deeply angsty lyrics. It takes more than a single listening to decipher one song such as Helena and Give 'Em Hell, Kid. The very reason why I've grown to like Emo. The lyrics are personal and deep. Screw Pop music for writing only fabricated and senseless lyrics. Most especially RNB. "See-that-girl-wth-the-sexy-body-go-and-fuck-her-off" kind of stanzas.

Eventually we had a Pancit Canton fest. Curse Roman. Secretly I ver wanted extra hot chili but he insisted. 'Sides, I don't mind a little fire on my tongue! We cooked six packs and ate them all in one gulp. The challenge was the first one to give in by drinking water loses the game and gives the price to the one left standing. I tried to hide the infernal pain in my mouth by playing it cool and Roman's temptations were as futile as always! "There's one gallon of water here, Jiea. Drink all you want."

I lost... Again I played it cool by taking a glass of water and naturally drinking it. Roman smirked and said "Where's my prize?" Of course I never wanted to give in and cooly said "I'm just thirsty. Not that I couldn't take the chili." But then again I lost... Crap!

Later on Roman inserted a Disc into the DVD player. They were files he stole from Pau's laptop a long time ago. Roman told me that Pau doesn't know he has a collection of memorable pictures. We looked at them one by one. Pau wasn't that beautiful but she is pretty. Pretty and not beautiful. There's a difference. Roman looked somewhat distracted as we looked at the pictures. I'm sure he misses Pau badly had only they not separated. Roman told me that when he lost Pau, the only thing left for him to do was to die.

I asked Roman to show me more pictures. I don't know how Roman felt but I'm sure it was more than hellish. Pau was the only girl that Roman loved truly and wholly. He never did cheat or play around with her. Until now he loves her and would do anything just to have her back. I'm praying for that too...

Roman then took out his electric guitar and inserted the plugs. He then strummed a familiar song. "This is Avril Lavigne's Why." He told me as he strummed. I sang along with him.

It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you, more and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together
Tell me, you think we can last forever
Tell me why

He played and I sang other songs too such as My Happy Ending (Avril Lavigne), Broken Sonnet (Hale) and 214 by Rivermaya. The sun was finally asleep and no light was in the room but the dying lusters left by then sun. It was dark. Just as dark as Roman's feelings that time. I could somehow feel it.

The world could die
And everything may lie
Still you shouldn't cry
'Cause time may pass
But longer than it'll last
I'll be by your side

"You know?" Roman said after he played the song. "I feel somewhat...heavy everytime I play this. This was our theme song. Pau and I." I could feel Roman's pain. "If you've noticed, all my account names, character names are always 'Broken'. For this is what I've become since I lost Pau. I'm not complete. But why should I even continue hoping? Pau will not come back. She never will..."

That night I said goodbye to Roman and made my way back home to UN Avenue. Remembering all those events, I decided to write them all down here. Broken...

Darkness is my Ally

2006-01-26T13:42:00.000+08:00

I know why you wanna hate me
I know why you wanna hate me
I know why you wanna hate me
'Coz hate is all the world has ever seen lately!
-Limp Bizkit, Take A Look Around

I will not let emotion be the impetus of my existence...

I hate emotion.
I hate these tears.
Hate is all I have left...

Now I fully understand why Love and Hate are akin to each other. Hate is the rescusitation of darkness within. Yet darkness is but my ally. I refuse to serve it my master. Emotion is on the other end. A very formidable enemy yet a very petty and weak ally. Many times I have mindlessly let emotion overwrite my judgment and the result has placed me on a downward spiral perennially being tormented by emotion. They wear a mask called gentleness and behind it hides deception. An indirect decent into deceit.

Curse those lamebrains who perceive goths as spawns of evil. Such simple-mindedness. I don't know whether I should be annoyed or enlightened. The world's stupidity too is an asinine matter. We are against evil yet we use its source - the darkness - as weapons of our own as well. We are vested with this uncanny sight to see the beauty in darkness. Then we channel all this darkness for the positivity, for the greater good. We work in ways so eccentric that we are mistaken. Misunderstood. Misinterpreted.

How great it is to be weird.

Metallic

2006-01-17T18:11:00.000+08:00

"Yeah, we've been together for three years and he turned out to be bullshit after all."
-My friend Jette regarding her ex-boyfriend

Until now I still can't seem to vaporize this antipathy towards Sonny a.k.a. my fucked up ex-boyfriend. So much I hate him that It makes me wanna kill him TWICE. If you wanna know how to kill someone twice then allow me to elaborate. First I'm gonna kill him reeeeaaaal good. And if ever I'm still craving for more, I'm gonna go straight after him in hell and kill him again. And that my good friend, is killing someone TWICE! Damn it. If only I was the devil's mistress then I could have reserved him the deepest and most infernal pit in hell there is.

Without that bastard in my life, I feel a strange new freedom. No more overprotective duff demanding my schedule and location, no more consistent oathbreaker who always promises he'll come visit me when he eventually won't (Damn him! He never visited me fir two months!), no more pathetic and senseless arguments from him and most of all, no more heartbreaks and headaches to further distract me to the abyss of academic failure!

For now I don't wanna have a boyfriend yet. I don't want another chunk of shit in my toilet bowl to further mess my life up. The day Sonny and I broke up, it hurt... It feels as if a knife with jagged edges is driving itself slowly and deeply into my heart and it recoils as it bleeds. Swiftly the following day, it metallizes, deflecting the knife away. A metallic heart. Such apathy and impassiveness yet a rampart metallic heart that can stand on its own without external assistance. That's what I've become of...

Beauty of Solitude

2006-01-16T18:54:00.000+08:00

You are dark! You are a loner and a sad person. You are the quiet one in your group and you don't like to talk much. You are very dark and not many people like you because you're a loner. But you still have a few friends.

What element are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

But let's correct a few erroneous things about moi!
1. I do have friends. I have only a few because I don't just befriend anyone. I choose them well.
2. I am only quiet in public but exceedingly spontaneous in friendly company.
3. I am not the quiet one in the group. In fact I am the mst luquacious one.
4. I am only very dark within myself.
5. But yeah, not many people like me 'coz I am loner. Who gives a shit when I'm enjoying it anyway?

No One But Me

2006-01-16T18:08:00.000+08:00

"A lighthouse's base is always dark."
-Japanese Quote

I guess it was fate that bound the threads of friendship between Omachi-san and I. I'm glad to have sought something in common between the two of us - desire for solitude and isolation. Omachi-san has deep interest in Philosophy, probably one of the very few people who understands my adherances and credences without holding hostile opinions. Also we both think in ways so different from the conformity.

And about the quote above, it actually means that one who prioritizes others too much does not even know himself. A lighthouse's blinding top provides ample lighting to the passing ships yet it itself is not shed even a lustre of light upon. A person similar to a lighthouse knows others but doesn't know himself. Helps others but doesn't love himself. Understands others but doesn't understand himself.

Omachi-san told me. People who blend in with other people just hide the shameful truth that they can't be by themselves. They laugh at us loners for having no friends yet we laugh at them for being unable to befriend themselves. Do they not know that the hardest one to befried is one's self? Such weaklings of emotions!

I guess we loners don't have much to be sad about after all! Not only loners but weirdos to boot! And we weirdos will always be WAY smarter than them!